Honest Jokes / Recent Jokes
An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class. "How did that happen?, " gasped her mother. "It wasnt easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him!"
Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.
A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it. "Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded the lawyer. "Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter. "In this state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put ``here lies an honest lawyer" "But that won't let people know who it is" protested the lawyer. "Certainly will," retorted the stonecutter. "people will read it and exclaim, "That's Strange!"
A lawyer named Impos Syble was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it.
“Here lies an honest man and a lawyer, ” responded the lawyer.
“Sorry, but I can’t do that, ” replied the stonecutter. “In this state, it’s against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put `here lies an honest lawyer’. ”
“But that won’t let people know who it is! ” protested the lawyer.
“Sure it will, ” retorted the stonecutter. “People will read it and exclaim, “That’s impossible! ”
Whats a Pussy? After school one day Tod, an eager second-grader, came up to his mother and asked, "Mom, whats a pussy?" Somewhat startled by the question, but directing her answer away from the adult definition, the mother replied, "Son, sometimes people say the word pussy, for short, when they really mean pussycat. You know like Boots, the cat that lives next door. Boots could be called a pussy or better yet, pussycat." That didnt compute with what Tod heard on the playground that day, but he continued, "Mom, what about a bitch? What is a bitch?" She pursued her puritanical theme by answering, "Tod, an adult female dog is commonly referred to as a bitch. But Son, where did you hear such words?" "From the fourth-graders on the playground, Mom," he replied. "I think you should play with your second-grade friends and stay away from those fourth-graders," the mother stated. Later, Tod found his dad working in the garage. He went more...
Take your time with this test and you will be amazed.
The Dalai Lama suggests you read it to see if it works for you. Very Interesting. Just 4 questions and the answers will surprise you.
Be honest and do not cheat by looking up the answers.
The mind is like a parachute, it works best when it is opened. This is fun to do, but you have to follow the instructions very closely. Do not cheat.
MAKE A WISH BEFORE BEGINNING THE TEST!
A warning! Answer the questions as you go along. There are only 4 questions and if you see them all before finishing, you will not have honest results.
Go down slowly, and complete each exercise as you scroll down. Don`t look ahead. Get pencil and paper to write your answers as you go along. You will need it at the end.
This is an honest questionnaire which will tell you a lot about your true self. Give an answer for each item. The first thing that comes to mind is usually your best more...
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Bobby. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Danny," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Bobby. Danny replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Bobby. "No, just the regular kind", replied Danny.