Honeymoon Jokes / Recent Jokes

This couple just got married and was spending their honeymoon at a secluded campgrounds next to a small lake. Every day the new bridegroom was seen in a boat on the lake fishing.
Two old timers who was always setting on the dock thought it kinda funny that the groom was spending all his time on the lake. Well, their curiosity got the best of them and they confronted him when he came in for lunch. The first old man said, " Son when I first got married me and my wife spent every day of our honeymoon in bed... well you know!"
The new groom said, "well, normally that's what I would do, But she...well, she's got gonorrhea." The second old man said, " well son haven't you ever heard about oral sex? everybody's doing it these days." The groom says, "yes I have heard about that, but she also has pyorrhea."
The first old man looks at the second old man, and they both nod to each other and offered this advice. "Sonny, in times like this more...

Jack was going to be married to Jill, so his father sat him down for a little fireside chat...
He says "Jack, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants and handed them to your mother, and said, here - try these on."
So, she did and said, "These are too big, I can't wear them".
I replied, "...exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. Ever since that night we have never had any problems."
"Hmmm," says Jack. He thinks that might be a good thing to try.
So on his honeymoon, Jack takes off his pants and says to Jill, "Here try these on."
So she does and says, "these are too large, they don't fit me."
Jack says, "...exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will, and I don't want you to ever forget that."
Then Jill takes off her pants and hands them to Jack and says, "Here, you try on mine."
So he more...

On their honeymoon night, the burly groom took off his pants and asked his bride to put them on. The waist alone was twice her body. She said, "I can't wear your pants." "That's right," intoned the groom, "And don't you forget it. I'm the one who wears the pants in the family." The bride took off her panties and asked her husband to try it on. "No way. I can't get into your panties." he said. "That's right. And that's the way it'll be until you change your attitude." she said and smiled.

This couple just got married and was spending their honeymoon at a secluded campgrounds next to a small lake. Every day the new bridegroom was seen in a boat on the lake fishing.
Two old timers, who were always setting on the dock, thought it kinda funny that the groom was spending all his time on the lake. Well, their curiosity got the best of them and they confronted him when he came in for lunch. The first old man said, "Son, when I first got married me and my wife spent every day of our honeymoon in bed... well, you know!"
The new groom said, "Well, normally that's what I would do, but she...well, she's got gonorrhea." The second old man said, "Well, son haven't you ever heard about oral sex? Everybody's doing it these days." The groom says, "Yes, I have heard about that, but she also has pyorrhea."
The first old man looks at the second old man, and they both nod to each other and offered this advice; "Sonny, in times like more...

This couple just got married and was spending their honeymoon at a secluded campgrounds next to a small lake. Every day the new bridegroom was seen in a boat on the lake fishing.Two old timers who was always setting on the dock thought it kinda funny that the groom was spending all his time on the lake. Well, their curiosity got the best of them and they confronted him when he came in for lunch. The first old man said, " Son when I first got married me and my wife spent every day of our honeymoon in bed... well you know!"The new groom said, "well, normally that's what I would do, But she...well, she's got gonorrhea." The second old man said, " well son haven't you ever heard about oral sex? everybody's doing it these days." The groom says, "yes I have heard about that, but she also has pyorrhea."The first old man looks at the second old man, and they both nod to each other and offered this advice. "Sonny, in times like this you just might more...

A young couple got married & went on a cruise for their honeymoon. When they got back from the honeymoon, the bride immediately called her mother, who lived a couple of hours away. "Well, darling," said her mom, "how was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, mother," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic, we had a terrific time! But, mother, as soon as we returned, Sam began using really horrible language... Stuff I'd never heard before... Really terrible 4-letter words... You've got to come get me and take me home... PLEASE MOTHER!"
And the new bride began to sob over the telephone.
But honey," the mother countered, "WHAT 4-letter words?"
"I can't tell you, mother," said the daughter, "they're too awful! COME GET ME, _P_L_E_A_S_E_ !!!"
"Darling daughter, you must tell me what has you so upset... Tell mother the 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Mother... more...

An elderly couple decide to celebrate their fiftieth anniversary by reliving their honeymoon. They get a reservation for the honeymoon suite in the same hotel at the same resort.
After waking the next morning to a room service breakfast they begin eating in the nude.
The wife says "Oh Harold this is just like fifty years ago! My breasts feel all warm and tingly!"
To which he replies "Well they ought to Gladys one's a hangin' in your oatmeal, the other's in your coffee!"