Honeymoon Jokes / Recent Jokes
Banta and Preeto got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, Preeto immediately called her mother.
Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."
Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned Banta started using the most horrible language...things I'd never heard before!
I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... Please mama!"
"Preeto, Preeto," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept Preeto, "I'm so embarrassed they're just too awful! Come get me, please!"
"You must tell me what has you so upset....Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, Preeto said, "Oh, mama...words like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK...!"
A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground, when he finally gets himself to the doctor.
He says, " How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiance is still a virgin in every way."
The doc said, " I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week."
So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage, and wired it all together; an impressive work of art.
The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries, and on his honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he saw them.
She says, " You are my first, no one has ever touched these breasts."
He whips down his pants and says... " Look at this, it's still in the crate!"
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would there be any "we" in the first place."
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon.
When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
"Well, how was the honeymoon?" asked the mother.
"Oh mamma!" she exclaimed. "The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic!"
No sooner had she spoken the words than she burst out crying. "But mamma. . . as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language. He's been saying things I've never heard before! All these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... please mamma!"
"Now Sarah. . . " her mother answered. "Calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words has he been using?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mamma." wept the daughter.
"I'm so embarrassed! They're just too awful! You've got to come get me and take me home... please mamma!"
"Darling, baby, you must more...
A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. He finally gets himself to thedoctor. He says, "How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancee is still a virgin." The doc said, "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week." So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided splint, held together with surgical wire. It was an impressive work of art. The guy mentions none of this to his girlfriend. They marry and on their honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he ever saw them. She says, "You are the first, no one has ever touched these breasts." He pulls down his pants, whips out his splinted cock and says, "Look at this beauty, it's still in the CRATE!"
A fellow was on his honeymoon near his favorite fishing lake and he would fish from dawn to dark with his favorite fishing guide. One day the guide, friend of many years, mentioned that the honeymoon seemed to be spent fishing.
"Yes, but you know how I love to fish..."
"But aren't you newlyweds supposed to be into something else?"
"Yes, but she's got gonorrhea; and you know how I love to fish"
A few hours later, "I understand, but that's not the only way to have sex."
"I know, but she's got diarrhea; and you know how I love to fish..."
The following day: "Sure, but that's still not the only way to have sex."
"Yeah, but she's got pyorrhea; and you know how I love to fish..."
Late that afternoon, thoroughly frustrated: "I guess I'm not sure why you'd marry someone with health problems like that."
"It's 'cause she's also got worms; and you know I just love to more...