Hooker Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Chilean prostitute has auctioned 27 hours of sex to raise money for poor, disabled children.

A portion of the funds will provide medical treatment for the auction winners.

What's the difference between a rooster and a hooker? a rooster says cocka-doodle-doo a hooker says any cock will do.

What do you call an Italian hooker?

Lasagna (lays-on-ya)

What do you get when you cross a hooker with a systems engineer? A fuckin know-it-all!

The guitarist from Christian Metal band Stryper has recently wed a former prostitute now turned evangelical.
She runs a Christian outreach called Hookers for Jesus.
Ive done my research and they do offer a 12 for 1 Apostle rate.
No matter how much you pay, you can only cum once.
They talk about a second coming...
but we all know thats never going to happen.

This newfy comes to america and never had sex before. His friend in newfoundland told him if he wanted to learn about sex to go see the hookers in america they would teach him sex.
so the newfy found a hooker and asked her:
(newfy)-i never had sex before and i was told to see you to learn!
(hooker)-yes well we will start with a 69!
(newfy)-ok sure!!!
So they get into position and the newfy is not to sure about what he should be doing?
so he putts one hand on her ass! and the hooker let's a big fart go!!
(hooker) oop's sorry about that are you ok?
(newfy making a weird face)- yeah sure!
So the newfy putts the other hand on her ass and she let's an even bigger fart out!
(hooker)- sorry are you ok?
(newfy gasping for air)yeah i'll be ok thanks!
So the newfy putts both his hands on her ass and the hooker let's a big juicy stinky fart and say's:
(hooker)-i'm really really sorry about that!!!
(newfy almost puking )-It's ok but i think more...

There's this man who's taking a walk around the red light district
until he passes a whorehouse with a blinking sign saying: "The
Hooker With Three Breasts...". The man get's just a little
interested and thinks "well... that could be a once in a lifetime
experience". So he goes in and walks up to the man behind the
counter. "I'd like to see the hooker with the three breasts" he
says.
"Are you sure you can afford that... It'll cost you a thousand
dollars" the pimp replies. But, the man is too exited, pull's his
wallet and pays him the money. So, he's taken up three stairs to a
little room in the back of the house and when he opens the room...
there she is. The room is dark but as he comes closer he sees it...
three breasts! And so the man absolutely has the night of his life.
The next day the man walks past that same whorehouse and thinking of
the night before and the time he had, he goes in more...