Hooker Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a crowd of people were throwing stones at a hooker. Jesus stepped forth and said, "May he who is without sin, cast the next stone." All the people looked at Jesus, and began to feel bad and turn away. Suddenly, a woman stepped forward, picked up a stone, and nailed the hooker right between the eyes. The crowd looked at the woman in disbelief, and Jesus also looked at her. "What?" the woman said. Jesus nodded his head and replied, "You don't count mom!"

A Chinese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for theevening. Once in the room they undress, climb into bed, and go atit. When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and commences to repeat theperformance. The hooker is impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. Whenfinished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes adeep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumpsback into bed with the hooker and starts again. The hooker is amazed as this sequence is repeated four times. Duringthe fifth encore, she decides to try it herself. So when they are done she jumps up, goes to the window and takes adeep breath of fresh air, dives under the bed... and finds fourChinese men.

What happens when a psychiatrist and a hooker spend the night together?
In the morning each of them says: "120 dollars, please."

The new hooker just finished her first trick.
When she came back down to the street, the
seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the
details.
She said "well, he was a big muscular and
handsome marine".
"Well, what did he want to do?" they all asked.
She said " I told him that a straight lay was
$100, but he said he didn't have that much". "So
I told him a blow job would be $75, but he didn't
have that much either". "Finally I said, well,
how much do you have"?
The marine said that he only had $25.
The new hooker said "well, for $25 all I can give
you is a hand job"
He agreed and after getting the finances
straight, she said " he pulled it out and I put
one hand on it, and then the second hand above
the first and then the first hand above the
second hand....."
"Oh my god" they all exclaimed, "it more...

A Chinese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for the
evening. Once in the room they undress, climb into bed, and go at
it.

When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window,
takes deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side,
jumps back into bed with the hooker and commences to repeat the
performance.

The hooker is impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. When
finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes a
deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps
back into bed with the hooker and starts again.

The hooker is amazed as this sequence is repeated four times. During
the fifth encore, she decides to try it herself.

So when they are done she jumps up, goes to the window and takes a
deep breath of fresh air, dives under the bed... and finds four
Chinese men.

Chinese Goer A Chinese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room they undress, climb into bed, and go at it.
When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and commences to repeat the performance.
The hooker is impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes a deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and starts again.
The hooker is amazed as this sequence is repeated four times. During the fifth encore, she decides to try it herself.
So when they are done she jumps up, goes to the window and takes a deep breath of fresh air, dives under the bed... and finds four Chinese men.

What do you get when you cross a computer with a hooker?
A Fucking Know it all.