Hooker Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was this hooker who mistook a Salvation Army man fora soldier and propositioned him. The Salvation Army gent said, "Ma'am, you may be forgiven, as a pitiable victim of circumstances. Tell me, are you familiar with the concept of' original sin'?"The hooker replied, "Well, maybe and maybe not. But ifit's "really" original, it'll cost you an extra $20."

"Kim" had been a prostitute who had 10 to 15 clients a day, seven days a week, for eight years. She said she worked it out to be about 100,000 men, and she says she's disgusted by that number.
However, if you do the math using the maximum values stated,that is 15 men a day times 7 days a week, it comes out to 105 men a week. 105 men a week x52 weeks a year=5,460 men a year. 5460 men a year x8 years=43,680 total.
In other words, Kim ain't half the whore she thinks she is!

A guy gets out of the V. D. Hospital and decides to a hire a hooker, since he's been without for so long. Before long, he brings one home, and they have sex four times. After it's over, he turns to her and tells her he hasn't had sex in four months because of being in the V. D. Hospital.
"How's the food there?" asks the hooker. "Because I'm going in there tomorrow!"

A guy in a restaurant orders chicken noodle soup. He starts to eat the soup and chokes on a hair in the soup. After gagging for a minute, he calls the waitress. "I'm not paying for this soup. There was a hair in it."
The waitress and customer get into a bit of an argument over the problem. The guy ends up storming out of the restaurant without paying. The waitress sees the guy go across the street to a house of ill repute. The waitress's shift is over in about 15 minutes. She hurries over to the hooker house and finds out where the guy is.
The waitress crashes into the room where the guy and lady of the evening are engaging. As she walks in, the waitress sees the guy with his face in the hooker's business area. The waitress, seeing this, says, "You wouldn't pay for the chicken noodle soup because you found hair in it. Now look where your face is."
The guy, upon pulling his face out of the muff, turns to the waitress and says, "And if I find a more...

What do a bungee jump and a Hooker have in common?
They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're dead.

A Chinese man arranged for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room they undressed, climbed into bed, and went at it. When finished, the Chinese man jumped up, ran over to the window, took a deep breath, dove under the bed, climbed out the other side, jumped back into bed with the hooker and commenced a repeat performance.

The hooker was impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. When finished, the Chinese man jumped up, ran over to the window, took a deep breath, dove under the bed, climbed out the other side, jumped back into bed with the hooker and started again!

The hooker was amazed at this sequence. During the fifth encounter, she decided to try it herself. When they were done she jumped up, went to the window and took a deep breath of fresh air, dove under the bed to find 4 other Chinese men.

Three hookers were sitting in a bar after a long night of work. They were having a drink and talking about their last tricks. The first hooker said, "I just got done with an artist."
"Really", said the second hooker, "how could you tell?"
"When he was done", replied the first, "he got up and painted a beautiful mural of my vagina complete with angels and cherubs."
"Wow", said the second, "I just got done with a hunter."
"How do you know know he was a hunter?", said the first.
"Well, he went deep in the bush and ate what he shot.", she replied.
The three laughed. "Ha, ha, I've heard that one before.", said the first hooker.
Finally, the third prostitute piped up. "I just got done with a comedian."
The two others look her oddly. "How do you know he was a comedian?", they asked.
"Well", she replied, "We were having sex more...