Horizon Jokes

One day, a pirate ship is cruising the seas off the coast of England when the scout yells, "There's a English ship on the horizon." Immediately, the crew looks to the captain, who valiantly says, "Bring me my red shirt." The captain dons the shirt and the British ship commences the attack. The captain and his men fight valiantly and crush the british attackers.A few days later, the scout yells, "There are three English ships on the horizon." Immediately, the crew looks to the captain, and again he says (in his most manly voice), "Bring me my red shirt." Again, the English ships begin their attack and the pirates fight off all three of the attacking ships.After the battle is over, one of the mates sheepishly approaches the captain and asks, "Sir, why do you keep asking for your red shirt?" The captain replies, "I ask for the red shirt so if I am injured in battle, you will not see my blood, and will continue to fight." The more...

Neville, Daniel and Rhonda are floating in a life boat after their ship had sunk in the Atlantic. Neville sits up and looks about. He sees an island on the horizon, but can't believe his eyes. After conferring w/ the other two, they decide that there is no such thing as group hallucination and paddle toward the island.
They have not been on the island long when it begins to rain. This is another miracle, and the three believe that God is w/ them.
The following day, early in the morning, Rhonda starts screaming and wakes the other two. "It's a ship, it's a ship!" cries she.
The other two rise from their somnulescent posture and look. Sure enough, there is a ship on the horizon.
"We're saved, we're saved!" cry they, and begin to dance around in circles. As the ship comes closer, Daniel peers to catch the name on the starboard side: "The Titanic" he reads out slowly.

In the days where tall, wooden ships sailed the high seas, there was this one ship
sailing during a war. That morning, the lookout shouted, "enemy ship on the horizon."
The captain said to hisensign, "Get me my red shirt." The ensign, rather bewildered
from this odd request, did as his captain ordered. Thought the battle was a long one,
the captain and his crew managed to fend off the enemy ship.
Later that day, the lookout shouted, "two enemy ships on the horizon." As before,
the captain said to his ensign, "Get me my red shirt." And, as before, the ensign
did as his captain asked. The battle took the rest of the day to fight, and managed
to defeat the two enemy ships.
That evening, the ensign asked his captain, "Sir, Why, before every battle, do you
ask for your red shirt." The captain replied, "Well, if I am wounded in battle, the
blood will not show and the crew will more...