Daniel Jokes

Sitting in the sauna, starry-eyed Daniel sighed to a perfect stranger, "YToiow, my wife's an angel."
"I envy you," the other man snorted. "Mine's still alive."

Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people".

Neville, Daniel and Rhonda are floating in a life boat after their ship had sunk in the Atlantic. Neville sits up and looks about. He sees an island on the horizon, but can't believe his eyes. After conferring w/ the other two, they decide that there is no such thing as group hallucination and paddle toward the island.
They have not been on the island long when it begins to rain. This is another miracle, and the three believe that God is w/ them.
The following day, early in the morning, Rhonda starts screaming and wakes the other two. "It's a ship, it's a ship!" cries she.
The other two rise from their somnulescent posture and look. Sure enough, there is a ship on the horizon.
"We're saved, we're saved!" cry they, and begin to dance around in circles. As the ship comes closer, Daniel peers to catch the name on the starboard side: "The Titanic" he reads out slowly.

Busy Angelina Jolie will apparently be playing Mariane Pearl, widow of slain reporter Daniel Pearl, in an upcoming movie. I'm guessing that if the real Mariane Pearl looked like Angelina Jolie, Daniel Pearl's last words might have been very different:

"Don't kill me and I'll let you do my wife! She's a 10! Please! You can do coke off her nipples!"

In school, the professor asks:
-Who can tell me now who was the mother
of Moses? You, Daniel, should know, tell me!
Daniel, a young jewish child, stand up and
answers without hesitate:
- Moses mother was the faraoh's daughter!
- No, no, no, no, Daniel..., the faraoh's
daughter found him down the Nile, in a basket...
- Yeah, that's what she says