Baldwin Jokes

Mr. Baldwin, the biology teacher called on Mary, "Can you tell me the part of the body that, under the right conditions, expands to six times it's normal size, and state the conditions."
Mary gasped and said in a huff, "Why, Mr. Baldwin! That is an inappropriate question and my parents are going to hear of it when I get home!" She sat down, red-faced.
"Susan, can you tell me the answer?" asked Mr. Baldwin.
"The pupil of the eye, under dark conditions," said Susan.
"Correct. Now Mary, I have three things to say to you.
First, you have not studied your lesson.
Second, you have a dirty mind.
And third, boy are you going to be disappointed someday!"

Mr. Baldwin, the biology teacher called on Mary, "Can you tell me the part of the body that, under the right conditions, expands to six times it's normal size, and state the conditions."Mary gasped and said in a huff, "Why, Mr. Baldwin! That is an inappropriate question and my parents are going tohear of it when I get home!"She sat down, red-faced."Susan, can you tell me the answer?" asked Mr. Baldwin."The pupil of the eye, under dark conditions," said Susan."Correct. Now Mary, I have three things to say to you. First, you have not studied your lesson. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, boy are you going to be disappointed someday!"

Stylist and costume designer Patricia Field abruptly quit the New York production of The Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing on Friday.

The cause? The supposed bad behavior of star Alec Baldwin.

"He was a monster... an absolute monster," groused Field, whose previous credits include overseeing the fashions worn by Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall on Sex and the City.

"That big ape refused to wear anything I showed him. Like this, for instance. This is a couture tube dress made of Hefty Lawn and Leaf bags, embellished with thousands of doll eyes that I glued on personally. He took one look at it and left the room. I have people begging me for the chance to wear this garment!"

According to Field, 97, other "completely fabulous" items that Baldwin allegedly balked at donning were "Lucite platforms with little real fish swimming inside them," "a fierce tufted headband made out of python skin and more...

In light of the vicious custody battle over their daughter Ireland, a judge has ordered Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger to begin using separate names for her.

Mr. Baldwin will call her "Sinn Fein," and Ms. Basinger will refer to her simply as "The Ulster Unionist".

This is Daniel Baldwin
Daniel Baldwin being arrested
and this is where his career is buried