Horoscope Jokes

My horoscope read, "Youre going places and you cant be stopped."Apparently the cop who gave me a ticket hadnt read it.

My horoscope read, "You're going places and you can't be stopped." Apparently the cop who gave me a ticket hadn't read it.

October's horoscope, from the official tabloid paper of the Virtual
Village over on bit.listerv.politics, THE VIRTUAL WORLD NEWS.
Cast and reported by me, Tabloid Kerry, Your Virtual Reporter.
For entertainment purposes only.
THE VIRTUAL WORLD NEWS "Hey, it's words,
punctuation marks,
paragraphs-practically
the New York Times!"

Your horoscope for this month: Work:the stars are smiling Friends:the stars are smiling Health:the stars are smiling Sex:the stars got a heart attack from laughing their heads off