Housing Jokes / Recent Jokes
Our Rights: The following was written by State RepresentativeMitchell Kaye from Cobb County, GA We, the sensible people of the United States, inan attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid anymoreriots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and securethe blessings ofdebt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one moretime to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, basically lazy people. We hold these truths to be self-evident: ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything. ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never beoffended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but theworld is full of more...
The big city sporting houses were hard hit by the housing shortage. One of them became so crowded on busy nights that it was obliged to entertain some of its customers on the roof. On one such evening, a client and his charming hostess became so excited they fell off the top of the building. Still locked in love's embrace, they landed on the street with a thud, barely missing a passing drunk.
The drunk staggered up to the sporting house door and knocked loud and long.
"Beat it," said the Madam, through a slot in the door. "We don't allow no drunks in here."
"I don't wanna come in," said the drunk. "Jush wanted to tell ya your sign fell down."
We, the sensible of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get
along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our
nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free
liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one
more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the
terminally whiny, guilt-ridden delusional, and other liberal, commie, pinko
bedwetters.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that a whole lot of people were
confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No
Rights.
You do not have the right to a new car, big-screen color TV or any other
form of wealth.
More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing
anything.
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on
freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just more...
A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA (Federal Housing Authority) loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down.
After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply (actual letter):
"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."
The lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):
"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note more...
BusinessWeek has released the much awaited “Most affordable housing in America”. First was any housing within’ shouting distance of Rosie O’Donnell.
Second and slightly more expensive is any of the appliance boxes tucked under the highway overpasses.