Huge Jokes / Recent Jokes

Lil' Johnny is delivering newspapers. He knocks on a door, a lady answers, and he says, "Collect... thatll be five dollars."
She says, "I'm a little short on cash, but if you want, I'll give you sex instead."
Johnny says, "All right."

He walks in, she undoes his pants, pulls them down, and there's the biggest wanker she's ever seen... it's huge for such a small kid. Johnny reaches into his shirt pocket, pulls out a handful of huge washers, and starts sliding them onto his willy.

She says, "You don't have to do that... I can take all of it."
Johnny says, "Not for five bucks you can't."

There were 3 guys, 2 smart ones, and a dumb one. They were all going hunting. The first smart guy went out and came back with a huge grizzly bear.
The dumb guy asked him "How did you get that huge Grizzly bear?" The smart guy said, "I followed the tracks, went in the cave and shot the bear."
Then the second smart guy went out and came back with a huge black bear.
The dumb guy asked him, "How did you get that huge black bear?"
The smart guy said, "I followed the tracks, went in the cave, and shot the bear.
So the dumb guy went out and came back all bloody and cut up.
The smart guys said, "What happened to you?"
The dumb guy said, "I followed the tracks, went in the cave, and got hit by a train."

There were 3 guys, 2 smart ones, and a dumb one. They were all going hunting. The first smart guy went out and came back with a huge grizzly bear. The dumb guy asked him "How did you get that huge Grizzly bear?" The smart guy said, "I followed the tracks, went in the cave and shot the bear." Then the second smart guy went out and came back with a huge black bear. The dumb guy asked him, "How did you get that huge black bear?" The smart guy said, "I followed the tracks, went in the cave, and shot the bear. So the smart guy went out and came back all bloody and cut up. The smart guys said, "What happened to you?" The dumb guy said, "I followed the tracks, went in the cave, and got hit by a train."

Offended
Three honeymoon couples find themselves in adjacent rooms in a hotel.
As they are getting undressed, the first man says to his wife, "What huge buttocks!" Much offended, she threw him into the corridor.
The second man, also undressing, says to his wife, "Christ! What huge tits!."
She is also greatly offended and throws him out into the corridor.
Several minutes later, the third newlywed husband arrives in the corridor as well.
The other two ask, "What happened? Did you put your foot in it?"
"No, but I could have!" the third man replied.

(A Marathon Passing By) Rahul: Why Are All Runing. Raghu: Because The Winner Gets A Huge Prize. Rahul: Oh! But Why Are The Rest
Running?

A guy decides he wants to learn how to hunt. Needing a good hunting dog, he visits a farmer who has been advertising hounds in the newspaper. The farmer shows him several dogs, but the guy doesn't like them. Then he spots one hound that the farmer hasn't shown him. The guys asks, "What about that one?" "Oh, no," the farmer replies. "That one's my special dog." "What's so special about him?" "Let me show you."

The farmer leads the guy and the dog to a field, lifts up one of the dog's ears, and orders, "Go find the birds!" The dog charges to a nearby bush, points and barks once. "That means there's one bird in that bush," says the farmer. "No way!" exclaims the guy. The farmer takes a stick and pokes the bush, and a huge pheasant flies out.

To further convince the guy, the farmer again lifts the dog's ear and repeats, "Go find the birds!" This time the dog streaks off to more...

The Pope wakes up one morning with a huge erection. Thinking that it wasn't very Catholic, he tries to get rid of it. Unfortunately, walking around the room, thinking about Arsenal and even getting some fresh air on the balcony all fail to soften him up.
With only one option left, he sat down on the balcony and relieved himself.
Later, the Pope was walking around Rome, when a man with a camera approached him. "Hello, Mr... Pope," the man says.
"Six o'clock this morning, on the balcony, I think you know what I'm talking about." "I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean," the Pope replied. "Oh, I think you do," the man retorted, "and 50 thousand will buy you the camera." Worried and confused, the Pope paid up and took the camera.
Back in the Vatican, one of the Pope's aides was asking about the camera. "A chap in town sold it to me for 50 thousand," the Pope explained. "50 thousand?" said the more...