Hughie Jokes / Recent Jokes

Wee Hughie came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. "What's the story this time, Hughie?" he asked sarcastically. "Let's hear a good excuse for a change."
Wee Hughie sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning. The wife decided to drive me to the harbour. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the ferry didn't turn up.
Rather than let you down, I swam across the river, ran over the mountain, borrowed a bicycle and cycled the 20 miles through the glen to this office."
"You'll have to do better than that. Hughie," said his boss, disappointed. "No woman can be ready in ten minutes."

Wee Hughie is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt.
Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realises she has gone without underwear.
The blonde realises he is staring and inquires, "Are you looking at my growler?"
"Yes, I'm sorry," says Wee Hughie and promises to avert his eyes.
"It's quite alright," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you."
Sure enough the growler blows him a kiss.
Wee Hughie, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the growler can do.
"I can also make it wink," says the woman. Wee Hughie stares in amazement as the growler winks at him.
"Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat. Wee Hughie moves over and is asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?"
Stunned, Wee Hughie replies, "Good more...

Two shipwrecked Scots had been hanging on for hours to an upturned boat.
Wee Hughie, realizing that he might not be able to hold our much longer, began to recount his past misdeeds, and to vow that if he escaped he would in future lead an entirely new life. Suddenly, there was a cry from his comrade in distress:" Wait, Hughie! Don't commit yourself yet - I think I see land! "

Wee Hughie adored and loved his girlfriend, Lorraine, to whom he was engaged to be married. Wedding plans were well underway and he was looking forward to spending the rest of his lfe with Lorraine.However, a beutiful young lady, called Clearly, came to work in his glen and they found that they got on together very well and as time went by, Wee Hughie realised that he was in love with Clearly and that the Love was reciprocated.Being a gentleman he decided that as he had promised to marry Lorraine he would do so and steadily removed himself from his other relationship.One day, he and Lorraine were walking along the banks of the River Tay. As they walked, Lorraine slipped and fell into the river and was swept away and drowned.He stood on the bank for a few minutes feeling very sad before walking away singing happily.And this is what he sang."I can see Clearly now Lorraine has gone"

Wee Hughie came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. " What's the story this time. Hughie? " he asked sarcastically. " Let's hear a good excuse for a change. " Wee Hughie sighed, " Everything went wrong this morning. The wife decided to drive me to the harbour. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the ferry didn't turn up. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river, ran over the mountain, borrowed a bicycle and cycled the 20 miles through the glen to this office. " You'll have to do better than that. Hughie, " said his boss, disappointed. " No woman can be ready in ten minutes."