Huh Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why do women fart after they pee?
They can't shake it, so they blow it dry!!
hah hah hah hah huh huh huh hooooooh hoooooooooooooooh! !!!!!
Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh! !
Heh.

Dick and Sandra were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 50th wedding anniversary. Sandra said, "We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon."

"Uh huh," said Dick.

"Will we do all the things that we did on our first honeymoon?" asked Sandra.

"Uh huh," said Dick.

"And will we make love like we did on our first honeymoon?" asked
Sandra.

"That's right," said Richard, "except this time I get to sit on the side of the bed and cry,' It's too big, it's too big!'"

* I won't be in today. I'm still drunk from last night.
* My car ran out of gas on the way to work. I was pushing it to a gas station and I got a stomach hernia and I have to go to the doctors.
* I have a bit of a problem. I got the end of a Q-tip stuck in my ear and have to go to the doctors to get it out.
* I can't come to work today because the city is paving my street and I can't get out.
* I am sorry but I will be unable to come in to work today. My agoraphobia (fear of leaving the house) is kicking in and I am afraid to drive today.
* Can't come in today, the springs on the garage door broke and I can't get the car out cause the door won't open.
* Sorry Boss I can't come into work today... my spirit guide says work is for losers!
* There has been an urgent family emergency, which I can't talk about lest I endanger any innocent bystanders.
* I can't come into work today because of eye trouble.... I can't see working today.
* I can't more...

1. 1. Uh, hey baby.
2. Uh, do you like come here often, huh huh. I said "come."
3. You need a man in your life, baby. And like, I need a woman. Let's like get into each other's life or whatever.
4. Uh, like let's drop all the uh B. S. and like, you know, do it.
5. Uh, get out of my car and into my dreams, baby.
6. What's your sign? Is it "Yield"? Huh huh huh huh.
7. Would you like carry my books for me?
8. If I said you were sexy, would you hold your body against me?
9. I can make you feel like I've never had sex before.
10. My lips are registered weapons.
11. I'm not trying to pick you up. You're like too heavy. Huh huh huh huh. Get it?
12. If I was the last man on Earth I bet we could do it in public.
13. If you need a love doctor, I have like a medicated degree.
14. If you ever had sex with a machine, that's what it's like with me.' Cause I'm like a sex machine.
15. If you're really hot, I bet more...

The old couple were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 50th wedding anniversary. The old woman said, "We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon." "Uh huh," said the old man." We will do all the things that we did on our first honeymoon," said the old woman. "Uh huh," said the old man." And we will make love like we did on our first honeymoon," said the oldwoman. "That's right," said the old man, "except this time I get to sit on the side of the bed and cry,' It's too big, it's too big!'"

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
Rottweiler: Make me.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.
Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.......
Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT more...

Top Ten Sexually Suggestive Lines in the Star Wars Trilogy

Star Wars
10. "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
9. "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
8. "Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
7. "You've got something jammed in here real good."
6. "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"
5. "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
4. "Sorry about the mess...."
3. "Look at the size of that thing!"
2. "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
1. "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid"

The Empire Strikes Back
10. "I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me."
9. "Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?"
8. "There's an awfull lot of moisture in more...