Hungarian Jokes

Hi Erma,

This perfectly delightful note is being sent on paper I made myself to tell you what I have been up to. Since it snowed last night, I got up early and made a sled with old barn wood and a glue gun. I hand painted it in gold leaf, got out my loom, and made a blanket in peaches and mauves. Then to make the sled complete, I made a white horse to pull it, from DNA that I had just sitting around in my craft room.

By then, it was time to start making the place mats and napkins for my 20 breakfast guests. I'm serving the old standard Stewart twelve-course breakfast, but I'll let you in on a little secret: I didn't have time to make the tables and chairs this morning, so I used the ones I had on hand.

Before I moved the table into the dining room, I decided to add just a touch of the holidays. So I repainted the room in pinks and stenciled gold stars on the ceiling. Then, while the homemade bread was rising, I took antique candle molds and made the more...

Hi Erma,
This perfectly delightful note is being sent on paper I made myself to fill you in on what I've been up to. Since it snowed during the night, I got up early and made a sled out of old barn wood and a glue gun. I hand painted it in gold leaf, got out my loom, and made a blanket in peaches and mauves. Then to make the sled complete, I made a white horse to pull it, from DNA that was just sitting around my craft room.
By then, it was time to start making the place mats and napkins for my 20 breakfast guests. I'm serving the old standard Stewart twelve-course breakfast. I'll let you in on a little secret though - I didn't have time to make the tables and chairs this morning, so I used the ones I had on hand.
Prior to moving the table into the dining room, I decided to add just a touch of the holidays. So, I repainted the room in pinks and stenciled gold stars on the ceiling. Then, while the homemade bread was rising, I took antique candle molds and made the dishes to more...

A Soviet visitor to Budapest says to his Hungarian host, "You must have such
terrible shortages." The astonished Hungarian asks why he thinks so. The
Soviet visitor replies, "Because you have no queues!"
From Suddenly, The American Idea at Home and Abroad, George F. Will,
1990, The Free Press, New York.

There was a hotel that was widely known for having room service that could provide anything a person could want. A traveler there checked in and immediatly called room service.
He said " I want brought to my room, a young virgin between the ages of eighteen and nineteen with blonde hair and blue eyes. I also want four peices of rope, exactly four feet in length, and a whip. Lastly, I want a Hungarian valet, thirty years old, with a dark complexion. Hurry, because I'm tired and want to relax." About an hour later, room service called back, "Sir, We are very sorry, we have the rope and the whip. The virgin was harder to find because around here, few girls reach that age with virginity intact. We have however, found one of the rare ones and she is somewhat blonde. We are extremely sorry to tell you though, that while we could not find a Hungarian valet as you requested, we have found a Romanian one. Will that do?"
The traveler sighed. "I'm afraid not. So more...

BUDAPEST (Reuters) - The annual pre-Christmas swine slaughter in a southwestern Hungarian village came to a shocking end after one man died of electrocution while trying to stun a pig, whose owner then died of heart attack.
Celebrations at the pig-killing party in Darvaspuszta took a turn for the worse on Saturday when an unnamed visiting Croatian man shocked himself to death while trying to knock out a pig with a homemade electric pig stunner, national news agency MTI said
A local man ended up in hospital with an irregular heart rhythm after attempting a rescue by trying to unplug the device.
The shocking accident so upset the pig's owner, he suffered a heart attack and died.
There was no word on the fate of the pig.