Hunter Jokes / Recent Jokes
An African hunter wandered into a cannibal village and saw a menu quoting price of $5 for Italians, $10 for Irishmen, $15 for Germans, $20 for Frenchmen and $100 for hillbillies.
The hunter told the cannibal chief prices were way too high for hillbillies.
"Oh yeah," said the chief, "you ever try to clean one of them?"
A game warden stops a duck hunter at the end of a days hunt and asks to check his birds. The hunter says, "Sure, go right ahead."
The warden picks up the first duck puts his finger up its ass and smells it and says, "This is a Utah duck. Do you have a Utah license?" The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his Utah license.
The warden picks up the second duck puts his finger up its ass, smells it and says, "This is a Wyoming duck. Do you have a Wyoming license?" The man shows him his Wyoming license.
The warden then picks up the third duck sticks his finger up its ass and says, "This here is a Colorado duck. Do you have a Colorado hunting license?" The hunter shows him his Colorado hunting license.
The game warden says, "You sure do carry a lot of hunting licenses with you. Where you from anyway?"
The hunter drops his drawers bends over and says, "You're so damn smart, you tell me!"
Two hunters traveled to Canada to hunt moose. They searched around and found a bush pilot with a good
reputation. They hired him and had him fly them to a cabin located by a small remote lake in the
Northwest Territories. The pilot carefully landed the plane on the lake, and let the two hunters off
at the pier. Over the roar of his engine, the pilot told them, "Now this lake is mighty short, and I
won't have much room to take off, so I can only take out one moose. OK, fellas?"
The hunters readily agreed. The pilot said he would return in one week, turned his plane around, and
flew off.
One week later, the pilot returned. He carefully landed his plane on the lake, pull up to the pier,
and looked out in dismay. There sat the two hunters on the pier, all smiles, with two dead moose. The
pilot shut off his engine, climbed out, and told the hunters, "Listen fellas. I told you, only one
moose."
Both hunters more...
These two friends decided to go hunting one weekend, so they load all their gear up and head into the
hills to find themselves some deer to bag. Everything goes fine for a while when after walking around
for seven hours, they realize that they're lost and cannot find their way back.
"You know," said the first hunter, we ought to firs a couple shots in the air and wait for a rescue
party."
So they fire three shots in the air and sit down to wait. An hour goes by, and not a sign of
anything..... no dogs, no moving people, no helicoptors, nothing.
"I think we should fire three more in the air," said the second hunter.
"Okay," the first hunter said, "here we go again." He then fired three more shots in the air.
Two more hours go by and still no sign of life around them. So the first hunter is about to fire
three more shots in the air when the second hunter grabs his arm and says, "Wait a more...
A big-game hunter came across a dinosaur in the middle of the jungle and stared at it surprise."Youre extinct," he said. The dinosaur was hard of hearing."What was that you said?" The hunter shouted at the top of his voice."You are extinct." The dinosaur looked a little nonplused. "So would you if youd been dead for six milion years."
A couple of hunters from Prague are out hunting, and an emormous bear runs up and in a single gulp devours one of the hunters. Miraculously, the swallowed hunter remained alive, trapped in the belly of the grizzly.
The other hunter runs back to town and organizes a rescue party which heads back to the woods armed with torches, guns, spears, etc.
Soon they spot two bears on the horizon and everybody starts shooting at the bear that's closest to them.
"No, not that one," shouts the surviving hunter, "That's the female."
"The Czech is in the male."
Mrs. Hunter was called to serve for jury duty, but asked to be excused because she didn't believe in capital punishment and didn't want her personal thoughts to prevent the trial from running its proper course. But the public defender liked her thoughtfulness and tried to convince her that she was appropriate to serve on the jury.
"Madam," he explained, "This is not a murder trial! It's a simple civil lawsuit. A wife is bringing this case against her husband because he gambled away the $12, 000 he had promised to use to remodel the kitchen for her birthday."
"Well, okay," agreed Mrs. Hunter, "I'll serve. I guess I could be wrong about capital punishment after all!"