Hurt Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE"One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too." "No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. . That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." "I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." "If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." ON THE ROLE OF BEAUTY AND HANDSOMENESS IN LOVE"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." "It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." "Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time." REFLECTIONS ON THE NATURE more...
There was this one lady who went to the doctor.she runs up to the doctor an says doctor doctor can u help me i hurt everyware!!! the doctor says thats inpossible an he says touch youre elbo the lady does it... Ouch it hurts she said he says touch youre nose... Ouch that hurt even worse ok well touch youre head OUCHHHHHhhhhhh!!! that hurts well... the doctor takes her into the back room an takes X-rays an says miss i think i found out whats wronge... it seems that u have broken youre finger!!!
Q: Why are Antartian hurt by people's words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
Patient: (to cosmetic-surgeon)' Will it hurt, doctor? Surgeon:' Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brown'.
This guy decides to get a sex change. So he goes to the doctors and has the thing done. A couple of weeks later he was talking to one of his old buddies about it." Gee, it must have really hurt when they shot all that silicon into your chest to make your breasts." "Not really, I hardly felt it." "Well, it must have really hurt when they chopped off your manhood!""Nope, I didn't really feel it either. The only thing that really hurt was when they drilled a hole in my skull and sucked out half my brain!"
My most memorable one was, after being lightly smacked on the butt and asking, "What was that for?" "Nothing. DO something and see what you get." I once got smacked and when I asked, "What was that for?" my mom replied, That's for all the things I never found out about." If you fall out of that tree and break your leg, don't come running to me! Variation: Cut your legs off in that lawnmower, don't you come running to me! If you poke your eye out with that thing, don't come looking for me! You always find things in the last place you look. Keep doing that with your face and it'll stay that way. This hurts me more than it hurts you. Variation: (speaking in time with the spanking) This(spank) hurts(spank) me(spank) more(spank)..... I want you to go find something for me to spank you with. Mother to my Father: "He's got my looks and your brains!" "He's your son!"I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate. What were you thinking more...
When I was a mother's helper, the mom of the family I worked for sat with her three oldest children and watched a PBS special showing the birth of a baby. The mom thought it would be a good starting point for answering questions about the facts of life.As her five-year-old studied the baby coming out of the birth canal, he asked, "Mom, does that hurt?""Oh, yes, it does," she said, remembering her difficult deliveries."Wow," he continued in awe, "does it hurt the mother too?"