Ideal Jokes / Recent Jokes
What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?
About three pounds, including the urn.
An ideal homework excuseTeacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: Our furnace stopped working and we had to burn it to stop ourselves from freezing
THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE
AGE DRINK
17 beer
25 vodka
35 scotch
48 double scotch
66 Mylanta
AGE SEDUCTION LINE
17 My parents are away for the weekend.
25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
35 My fiancee is away for the weekend.
48 My wife is away for the weekend.
66 My wife is dead.
AGE FAVORITE SPORT
17 sex
25 sex
35 sex
48 channel surfing
66 napping
AGE DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17 "tongue"
25 "breakfast"
35 "She didn't set back my therapy."
48 "I didn't have to meet her kids."
66 "Got home alive."
AGE FAVOURITE FANTASY
17 a winning goal after the siren
25 sex in an aeroplane
35 menage a trois
48 taking over the company
66 Swiss maid/Nazi love slave
AGE WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17 25
25 35
35 48
48 66
66 17
AGE IDEAL DATE
17 more...
If you get in my way, I'll kill you! - ideal project manager
If you get in my way, you'll kill me! - somewhat less than ideal project manager
If I get in my way, I'll kill you! - somewhat misguided project manager
If I get in your way, I'll kill you! - A tough project manager (eats glass, live cats, etc.)
If get kill in will way I you. - dyslexic, functionally illiterate project manager
I am the way! Kill me if you can! - messianic project manager
Get away, I'll kill us all! - suicidal project manager
If you kill me, I'll get in your way. - thoughtful but ineffective project manager
If I kill you I'll get in your way. - project manager who has trouble dealing with the obvious
If a you getta ina my way, I gonna breaka you arm. - project manager from New York
I am quite confident that there is nothing in the way, so no one will get killed. - project manager who is about to get in big trouble
If you kill me, so what? If you get in my way, who more...
Stages of LifeTHE MALE STAGES OF LIFEAGE DRINK 17 beer 25 bourbon 35 vodka 48 double vodka 66 MaaloxAGE SEDUCTION LINE 17 My parents are away for the weekend. 25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend. 35 My fiancee is away for the weekend. 48 My wife is away for the weekend. 66 My second wife is dead. AGE FAVORITE SPORT 17 sex 25 sex 35 sex 48 sex 66 nappingAGE DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE 17 "tongue" 25 "breakfast" 35 "She didn't set back my therapy." 48 "I didn't have to meet her kids." 66 "Got home alive." AGE FAVORITE FANTASY 17 getting to third 25 airplane sex 35 menage a trois 48 taking the company public 66 Swiss maid/Nazi love slaveAGE WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED? 17 25 25 35 35 48 48 66 66 17AGE IDEAL DATE 17 Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in 25 "Split the check before we go back to my place" 35 "Just come over." 48 "Just come over and cook." 66 Sex in the company jet on the way more...