Illegal Jokes / Recent Jokes

You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person. You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2. A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.According to state law, it is illegal to speak English. The officially recognized language is "American".Chicago: Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire Chicago: It is illegal to give a dog whiskey; Chicago: Kites may not be flown within the city limits; Chicago: Spitting is forbidden In Chicago, it is illegal to fish in pajamas. In Chicago, people who are diseased, maimed, mutilated, or "otherwise an unsightly or disgusting object" are banned from going out in public.

In Chicago it is also illegal to take a French poodle to the opera, and for more...

In South Bend, Indiana, it is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette.Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March. A person who dyes, stains, or otherwise alters the natural coloring of a bird or rabbit commits a Class B misdemeanor. (Ind. Code 15-2.1-21-13(b) A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17. It is against the law to pass a horse on the street. It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks. Liquor stores may not sell milk. Grocery stores may not sell any type of cold liquor. You can get out of paying for a dependent's medical care by praying for him/her. One man may not back into a parking spot because it prevents police officers from seeing the license plate. Smoking in the state legislature building is banned, except when the legislature is in session. Check forgery can be punished with public flogging up to 100 stripes. Pedestrians more...

Connorsvill, Wisconsin:
It is illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner has an orgasm.
Willowdale, Oregon:
It is illegal for husbands to curse during sex.
Oblong, Illinois:
It is punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.
(Trust me if a man takes his wife fishing on their wedding day, he has an even bigger problem.)
Alexandria, Minnesota:
No man is allowed to make love with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath.
Ames, Iowa:
A man cannot have more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with his wife, girlfriend, or significant other- or holding her in his arms.
Bozeman, Montana:
Has a law banning all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown - if they are nude.
Newcastle, Wyoming:
An ordinance specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in-meat more...

It is illegal to put ice cream on cherry pie in Kansas. It is illegal to hunt whales.Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats. No one may catch fish with his bare hands. The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks. If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights. Dodge City: It is illegal to spit on a sidewalk. Dodge City: All places of business must provide a horse water troft Lawrence: All cars entering the city limits must first sound their horn to warn the horses of their arrival. No one may wear a bee in their hat. Natoma: It's illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suites.Russell: Musical car horns are banned Salina: It is against the law to leave your car running unattended. Topeka: The installation of bathtubs is prohibited. Wichita: Before proceeding through the intersection of Douglas and Broadway, a motorist is required to get out of their vehicle more...

Palm Springs: It is illegal to walk a camel down Palm Canyon Drive between the hours of four and six PM.(Dumb Laws - California)

Connorsvill, Wisconsin:It is illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner has an orgasm.Willowdale, Oregon:It is illegal for husbands to curse during sex.Oblong, Illinois:It is punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.(Trust me if a man takes his wife fishing on their wedding day, he has an even bigger problem.)Alexandria, Minnesota:No man is allowed to make love with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath.Ames, Iowa:A man cannot have more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with his wife, girlfriend, or significant other- or holding her in his arms.Bozeman, Montana:Has a law banning all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown - if they are nude.Newcastle, Wyoming:An ordinance specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in-meat freezer.Illinois:A state law mandates that all bachelors should be called "master," not more...

You may not have more than two dildos in a house. Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony. This goes back in the days of the Wild West. There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus. When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses. Hunting camels is prohibited. Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs. It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water. Cars may not be driven in reverse. Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American. If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined. No more than six girls may live in any house. It is illegal to smoke cigarettes within 15 feet of a public place unless you have a Class 12 liqueur license. A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up. An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders. No one is permitted to ride their horse up the more...