Impotence Jokes

Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".

A man who suffered from impotence went to see his doctor for help. The doctor suggested he try a revolutionary new injection made from monkey glands. Willing to give it a try, the man was given the injection.
Much to the man's delight, it worked. Nine months and one week later, his wife gave birth.
When the nurse came out of the delivery room to give him the news, the man excitedly asked, "Is it a boy or a girl?"
"We won't know for sure until it comes down from the chandelier," the nurse replied.

HOW..."BIG"... SHOULD A MAN BE?
Don't by shy. It's an important question, and one surrounded by confusion. The average man's penis is 2 1/2 to 3 inches long. Men substantially larger than this must often undergo painful surgery to
cure their condition. In thickness, the average man is slightly larger than a ball-point pen.

HOW..."LONG"... SHOULD A MAN LAST?
Some men can prolong the sex act beyond the once-unbreakable thirty-second barrier; intercourse with an experienced man can go for up to forty-five seconds. Once in a long while, you'll find a man who can "last" as long as a minute. Whatever you do, don't let your girlfriends know you've landed one of these desirable "sixty second wonders."

HOW DO I KNOW IF I'M HAVING AN ORGASM?
The female orgasm is a sensation that's very hard to put into words, but most fulfilled, experienced women agrees that it "feels like something inside of you." When more...

A man has been married to his wife for over 20 years and during the past 5 years he has been unable to obtain an erection. He feels just horrible because he is unable to have sex with his wife. He fears his wife may leave him for another man.
Out of desperation the man has gone to every doctor and expert in the area. Despite numerous tests and suggested remedies, no reason for his impotence can be found and no cure has worked.
The man decides to share his problem with his best friend. His best friend gets all excited and says, "I know who can help you! There is mystic and he was able to help someone else I know with the same problem! You must go see him!"
So the man takes his friend's advice and goes to visit this curious mystic. The man explains his problem, the mystic looks him over and says, "Ah, yes, indeed I can offer a temporary cure."
The man is just elated, he tells the mystic, "Whatever it is, please do it! I want to be able to have more...

A man has been married to his wife for over 20 years and during the past 5 years he has been unable to obtain an erection. He feels just horrible because he is unable to have sex with his wife. He fears his wife may leave him for another man.Out of desperation the man has gone to every doctor and expert in the area. Despite numerous tests and suggested remedies, no reason for his impotence can be found and no cure has worked.The man decides to share his problem with his best friend. His best friend gets all excited and says, "I know who can help you! There is mystic and he was able to help someone else I know with the same problem! You must go see him!"So the man takes his friend's advice and goes to visit this curious mystic. The man explains his problem, the mystic looks him over and says, "Ah, yes, indeed I can offer a temporary cure."The man is just elated, he tells the mystic, "Whatever it is, please do it! I want to be able to have sex with my wife, more...