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The five questions are:
"What are you thinking?"
"Do you love me?"
"Do I look fat?"
"Do you think she is prettier than me?"
"What would you do if I died?"
What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to explode
into a major argument and/or divorce if the man does not answer properly, which
is to say, dishonestly. For example:
1. "What are you thinking?"
The proper answer to this question, of course, is, "I'm sorry if I've been
pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, caring,
thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to
have met you."
Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the guy was
really thinking at the time, which was most likely one of five things:
Baseball
Football
How fat you are.
How much prettier she is than you.
How he would more...