India Jokes / Recent Jokes

The 2 Miyans are working as teachers at Delhi Womens' College, both taking classes together. But the short & rotund Chota Miyan, who looks like a Bengali or Marathi, has become jealous of the tall & slender Burra Miyan, who looks like a Punjabi or Kashmiri & has become popular with the girls. So Chotoo lays out a plan to make them forget "Burroo" forever.
Finally, his day arrives. Both partners come to the class-room, which has about 100, mostly Punjabi & Oudhi, women.
"My Banus (girls), today we study male anatomy," Chotoo commences, opening his bag. He then takes out & holds up a specimen jar labelled "ARYAN MALE GENITALIA" which contains a small thumb-sized pink penis perched over 2 almond-sized testes. "This is what Punjabi Boys have," he states. "Maybe they remind you of your Yaar (lover), your Bhai (brother) or of Burroo !" Some girls giggle.
Next he takes out another jar labelled "DRAVIDIAN MALE more...

Gujarat Engineering & Medical Entrance Exam

Time Limit: 3 Weeks

1. What language is spoken in Tamil Nadu?

2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.

3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
(a) build a bridge
(b) sail the ocean
(c) lead an army or
(d) WRITE A PLAY

4. What religion is the Pope?
(a) Jewish
(b) Catholic
(c) Hindu
(d) Polish
(e) Agnostic (check only one)

5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0. 0 meters?

6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?

7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)

8. What are people in India's far north called?
(a) Westerners
(b) Southerners
(c) Northerners

9. Spell -- Bush, Carter and more...

Gyani Zail Singh went to the US & had a meeting with Reagan. Reagan said, "I want to show you the advancement in technology in USA. Come with me."

Reagan takes him in a deep forest and says. "Dig the ground."

Zail Singh digs.

Reagan says, "More, more, more..."

Zail Singh has now reached a 100 feet.

Reagan says, "So now, did you find anything?"

Zail Singh, "I got a wire!"

Reagan says, "You see, it shows that even 200 years ago we used to have telephones!"

Zail Singh was very frustrated and he invited Reagan to India.

In India GyaniJi says, "Now I want to show you the advancement in India!"

He takes Reagan to a forest and asks him to dig.

After some time GyaniJi says, "More.. . more... more!"

Reagan has now reached almost 400 feet.

Zail Singh says, "Find more...

India wins Cricket match; 120 people die of shock Bihar sold to Pakistan; Resulted In an unrelated incident: Literacy
soars up to 86% in India and in another interesting incident Pakistan's
literacy rate also increases by 50 %. Population Statistics: 42% - Literate, 58%- Politicians. Flood in Bihar; 2 die of thirst. India wins Gold in India versus Rest Of India Games Poverty to be eradicated in India using Virtual Reality Software. Laloo to be made National Animal. Ramar Pillai produces Pottasium Permanganate from rice, water, a
stick and some Pottasium Permanganate. No bombings in Kashmir today Suit filed holding Sharad pawar responsible for Battle of
Panipat, 1526. Doctorate conferred on Jayalalitha for completing 2 months in Jail Death penalty upheld for Attempted Suicide victim.

10. You think most Indian teenagers are pure and chaste. 9. You think everyone in the world knows about the O. J. Simpson case. 8. You can't believe the world wide web exists in India. You can't believe Delhi has had phone services like call waiting and the other fancy stuff you get here for the past three years and you can't believe there have been ATM (like MAC) machines in Indian cities for more than 7 years. 7. You like Broccoli. 6. You find cricket to be boring but watch golf, bowling or curling on TV. 5. You express sarcasm with "Yeah, right." 4. When you see anyone at all pass by you on the road, you greet them with a "Howz it goin", "Whassup" or "How you doin" and keep walking on. 3. You say "interesting" when either you don't care or think it is weird. 2. You refer to India as a Third World Country. 1. You understood, enjoyed and could relate to every joke in Asian Jokes & Funny Pictures.

Once There Was A French, German And Santa. They Died And Went To God. God Asked Them I Had Given You A Brain What Use Did You Make Of It. God Gave Them 2 Hours. The French Made A Nice Car, German Made A Nice Building And The Santa Took Two Tags And Stuck On Them Written' Made In India'.

Once Laloo Yadav, Sonia Gandhi, a saint and a schoolboy were traveling by a private plane. Suddenly the engine caught fire and the pilot came out shouting, "This plane is going to crash! And we have only four parachutes and there are five of us in the plane. Since I am a very important Indian Airlines pilot I am taking one parachute and getting out of here." Saying this he rushed to the luggage area grabbed one parachute and jumped off the plane. Sonia Gandhi said, "Since I am the future Prime Minister of India I am very important and have to live!" She also grabbed a parachute and jumped. Laloo Yadav said, "I am the king-maker of this country, the most honest politician of India and above all the most intelligent person living in this country, and the most intelligent person must live!" Saying so Laloo went to the luggage area, grabbed one and jumped off the plane. The old saint said to the school boy, "There is only one parachute left, and there more...