Indian Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once There Was A Match Between India And England. The Umpire Of The Match Was From England And So Was An English. During The
Match Sachin Hit A Six In The Crowd. Bal Thakre Caught The Ball In The Crowd. He Refused To Return The Ball. But Agreed To
Return It Only If The English Umpire Said A Word In Hindi Or Marathi. As He Did Not Know Any Word. He Said" Bal Thakre."He
Returned The Ball As He Thought He Said Ball Takre Which Means Throw The Ball In Marathi.

A Dravidian man falls asleep in a coconut grove. After a while a gigantic Kerala King Cobra slowly crawls along his legs & into his lungi (loin-cloth). Putting its head through an opening in front, the black serpent rises & spreads its fangs. Just as it is about to strike him in the face, the sleeping Dravidian man wakes up. Puzzled, he exclaims, "My horny South Indian King Cobra, I knew you were Big, Black & Dravidian! But from where did you get those bright green eyes ?"

A firm of solicitors in Mumbai go under the name of Patel, Patel, Patel and Patel. The office phone rang and the voice at the other end asked:
'May I speak to Mr Patel? 1
'Mr Patel is not in his seat.'
'In that case, can I speak to the other Mr Patel?'
'The other Mr Patel is out of station.'
'Then put me on to the third Mr Patel.'
'Sorry, the third Mr Patel has gone out for lunch.'
'Okay, then I will speak to the last Mr Patel.'
'Patel speaking.'

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too. Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception.
A girl named Gita has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I am not an American." replied Gita.
"Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?"
"I'm a proud Indian," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Gita why she is an Indian.
"Well", my mom and dad are Indians, "so I'm an Indian too."
The teacher is now angry.
"That's no reason", she says loudly, "if your mom was an idiot, and your dad was an idiot, what would you be then?"
A pause, and a smile.
"Then," more...

May be offensive to Native Americans.
A community of settlers was moving in on an Indian Tribe. Most Indian tribes had a medicine man who was the leader of the tribe. Well the settlers were planning to move the Indians off their land to build a town. The big chief of the Indians did not like it at all. So he decided to go to the settlers and tell them that he was not moving.
The big chief finds one settler and says, "ME BIG CHIEF WANT TO SEE MEDICINE MAN!"
The settler had no idea what the chief was talking about, so he sent him to the pharmacist down the road.
The chief says to the pharmacist,"YOU MEDICINE MAN??"
The pharmacist replies,"yes."
The chief says "ME BIG CHIEF NO MOVE!!" Well the pharmacist thinks that the Indian must be constipated, so he gives him some ex-lax and sends him on his way.
A week later the chief shows up again and says, "ME BIG CHIEF STILL NO MOVE!"
The pharmacist thought about more...

Two friends Santa Singh and Banta Singh, were always boasting of their parents' achievements to each other.
Santa Singh: "Have you heard of the Suez Canal?"
Banta Singh: "Yes, I have."
Santa Singh: "Well, my father dug it."
Banta Singh: "That's nothing. Have you heard of the Dead Sea?"
Santa Singh: "Yes, I have."
Banta Singh: "Well, my father killed it."

A Guy Opens A Bar To Make The Bar More Popular He Put A 10ft Fish Tank And Said Whoever Walks Into My Bar Has To Spit In It 2
Yrs Pass By And The Tank Is Full He Had To Empty The Tank Out Somewhere b'coz He Didnt Want To By Another Tank Saying That
This Tank Was Very Lucky So He Had A Competition It Was That If A Person Can Drink The Whole Tank Of Spit He Would Have A
Life Time Supply Of Booze. Three Contestants Sign Up So The 1st Contestant Sips And Sips And Starts Vomiting, The 2nd
Contestant Has Five Sips And Starts Vomiting, 3rd Contestant Sips And Stops Sips And Stops Like This He Finishes The Wholw
Tank So The Bar Owner Asked Him Why Did U Sip And Stop Sip And Stop So The Third Contestant Turns Around And Tells Him I Was
Chewing On The Lumps Of Saliva....