Ingredients Jokes / Recent Jokes

MONDAY: It's so much fun to cook for Ron. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. Fortunately, the neighbors were kind enough to loan me some extra bowls.
TUESDAY: Ron wanted fruit salad for dinner. The recipe said serve without dressing so, I didn't dress. What a surprise when Ron brought his boss home for dinner.
WEDNESDAY: A great day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed sort of silly, but I took a shower. I can't say it improved the rice any.
THURSDAY: Today, Ron asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up to Ron asking me why I was rolling around in the garden.
FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was exactly the same as when I left.
SATURDAY: Ron more...

(Outdated, but still fun.)
DOS Beer
Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the
directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz.
can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided into 8
compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed separately. Soon to be
discontinued, although a lot of people are going to keep drinking it after it's
no longer available.
Mac Beer
At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can. Considered
by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical. When you take one
from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you
call to ask about the ingredients, you are told that "you don't need to know." A
notice on the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trashcan.
Windows 3.1 Beer
The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a more...

Ingredients in Viagra!
3% Vitamin E
2% Aspirin
2% Ibuprofen
1% Vitamin C
5% Spray Starch
87% Fix-A-Flat

Chocolate Chip Cookies:

Ingredients:

1. 532. 35 cm3 gluten
2. 4. 9 cm3 NaHCO3
3. 4. 9 cm3 refined halite
4. 236. 6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5. 177. 45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
6. 177. 45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
7. 4. 9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8. Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein
9. 473. 2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10. 236. 6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)

To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation. In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous. To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add ingredient more...

One day a blonde was walking through a park when she saw a coke machine she decided to buy some coke when it came out she started looking around it then a brunette came walking by and asked the blonde why she turning the bottle and she said I'm looking for the ingredients.