"A Blonde's Diary" joke

MONDAY: It's so much fun to cook for Ron. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. Fortunately, the neighbors were kind enough to loan me some extra bowls.
TUESDAY: Ron wanted fruit salad for dinner. The recipe said serve without dressing so, I didn't dress. What a surprise when Ron brought his boss home for dinner.
WEDNESDAY: A great day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed sort of silly, but I took a shower. I can't say it improved the rice any.
THURSDAY: Today, Ron asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up to Ron asking me why I was rolling around in the garden.
FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was exactly the same as when I left.
SATURDAY: Ron did the grocery shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (Oh boy). For some strange reason, Ron keeps counting to ten.
SUNDAY: Ron's parents came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast, but all I could find was hamburger. Suddenly, I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. Much to my disappointment, it still came out hamburger.
GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY: This has been such an exciting week. I can hardly wait for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Ron. If only we could get a larger oven, I would love to surprise him with Chocolate Moose.

Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

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