Insanity Jokes / Recent Jokes
Your friends tell you that you have been acting strange lately, and then you
hit them several times with a sledgehammer.
Everyone you meet appears to have tentacles growing out of places that you
wouldn't expect tentacles to be growing from.
You start out each morning with a 30-minute jog around the bathroom.
You write to your mother in Germany every week, even though she sends you
mail from Iowa asking why you never write.
Every time you see a street sign, you have a tremendous urge to relieve
yourself on it.
You wear your boxers on your head because you heard it will ward off evil
dandruff spirits.
You're always having to apologize to your next door neighbor for setting
fire to his lawn decorations.
Every commercial you hear on the radio reminds you of death.
People stay away from you whenever they hear you howl.
Your breath smells more and more like squirrel dung each passing day.
You laugh out loud during more...
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. — Rita Mae Brown
How do people plead insanity?
Who's gonna believe a crazy person?
-Richard Guindon
HOW TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY IN THE WORKPLACE
Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you.
Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-cha."
Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as much since you did this.
While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Madge.
Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or more...
I don`t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute.
HOW TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY IN THE WORKPLACE Page yourself over the intercom. Don`t disguise your voice. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you. Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That`s a good point, Sparky." "No, I`m sorry, but I`m going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-cha." Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you`re doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I`ll be in the bathroom." Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven`t lost them as much since you did this. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Madge. Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way. Put a chair facing a printer. more...