Insects Jokes / Recent Jokes
Where would you put an injured insect?
In an antbulance!
What`s an insect’s best chat up line?
Pardon me, but is this stool taken!
What has four wheels and flies?
A rubbish bin!
What happened to the man who turned into an insect?
He just beetled off!
What is green and brown has four legs and can kill you if it falls out of a tree and lands on you?
A pool table?
What lives in gum trees?
Stick insects!
How do we know that insects are so clever?
Because they always know when you’re eating outside!
What is the insect`s favorite game?
Cricket!
How do we know that insects are so clever? Because they always know when your eating outside!
There once was a happy little fly buzzing around a barn one day when she happened upon a large pile of fresh cow manure. Since it had been hours since her last meal and she was feeling hunger pangs, she flew down to the irresistible delicacy and began to munch out.
She ate.....
and ate.....
and then.....
she ate some more!!!
Finally, she decided she'd had plenty. She washed her face with her tiny front legs, belched a few times, then attempted to fly away. But alas....she had pigged out far too much and could not get off the ground. She looked around wondering what to do about this unpleasant situation when she spotted a pitchfork leaning upright against the barn wall. She'd found a solution!! She realized if she could just become airborne she'd be able to fly again. So, she, painstakingly, climbed to the top of the handle. Once there, she took a deep breath, spread her tiny fly wings, and leaped confidently into the air. She more...
An insect repellent salesman tried to sell his product to a farmer. He said he wasn't interested because he hadn't seen any bugs or insects on his farm for years. The salesman indicated he had a wife and four kids and really needed the money.
The farmer still didn't think he needed any insect repellent but he felt sorry for the salesman and said, "I'm so sure there aren't any insects around here, if you'll strip naked, I'll tie you to my barnyard fence for the entire night. When morning comes, if you've got even one insect bite on you, I'll buy every can of repellent you've got."
The salesman was elated and readily agreed to being tied up naked. That night, the farmer tied the naked salesman to the barnyard fence and went to bed. Several times during the night he thought he heard the salesman moaning and groaning.
However, when he went out the next morning, the salesman didn't have even one bite or scratch on him. The farmer asked, "What was all that moaning more...
A boy and his father were playing catch in the front yard when the boy saw a honey bee. He ran over and stomped it. "That was a honey bee," his father said, "who is one of our friends. For stomping him, you will do without honey for a week."
Later the boy saw a butterfly so he ran over and stomped it. "That was a butterfly," his father said, "who is one of our friends, and for stomping him you will do without butter for a week."
The next morning the family had sat down for breakfast. The boy ate his plain toast. Suddenly a cockroach ran from under the stove. His mother stomped it.
The boy looked at his father and said, "Are you going to tell her or should I?"