Inside Jokes / Recent Jokes
Sardar got a Job as a cook in one home. One day sardar went in to his madams room with tea.
Madam got angry and said sardar, you should not come to my room like this, May be I am changing my dress. So you should take permission first by knocking the door before coming inside.
Sardar said, don't worry madam, I'll not enter in your room when you changing your dress, For making sure of that I am always looking thru the keyhole. and if you are changing your dress I am keep watching till you finish that, then only I comes inside........
A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing. On the last day the departing manager tells him, "I have left three numbered envelopes in the desk drawer. Open an envelope if you encounter a crisis you can't solve."
Three months down the track there is a major drama, everything goes wrong - the usual stuff - and the manager feels very threatened by it all. He remembers the parting words of his predecessor and opens the first envelope. The message inside says "Blame your predecessor!" He does this and gets off the hook.
About half a year later, the company is experiencing a dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. The manager quickly opens the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize!" This he does, and the company quickly rebounds.
Three months later, at his next crisis, he opens the third envelope. The message inside says "Prepare three envelopes".
A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the man's friend, Dave, and his girlfriend kissing one another. The bartender shook his head and walked back inside. He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good idea to check on his girlfriend. The fellow staggered outside to the car, saw his buddy and his girlfriend kissing, then walked back into the bar laughing. "What's so funny?" the bartender asked. "That stupid Dave!" the fellow chortled, "He's so drunk, he thinks he's me!"
WinErr 001: Windows loaded - System in danger
WinErr 002: No Error - Yet
WinErr 003: Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file
WinErr 004: Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong
WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused
WinErr 006: Malicious error - Desqview found on drive
WinErr 007: System price error - Inadequate money spent on hardware
WinErr 008: Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments
WinErr 009: Horrible bug encountered - God knows what happened
WinErr 00A: Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full
WinErr 00B: Inadequate disk space - Free at least 50MB
WinErr 00C: Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More!
WinErr 00D: Window closed - Do not look outside
WinErr 00E: Window open - Do not look inside
WinErr 00F: Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened
WinErr 010: Reserved for future mistakes by our developers
WinErr 011: Window open - Do not look more...
A woman who ran to the mall for a quick errand lost her purse, but an honest teenage boy returned it to her. The woman looked inside her purse and remarked, "That's strange. Earlier I had a $20 bill inside, but now it's gone, and instead I see two fives and a ten." "That's right," the boy explained, "the last time I found a lady's purse, she did not have change for a reward."
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.
This describes everything you're not.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
Every time I see your face.
I wish I were in outer space.
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
Beauty is on the inside, but some may doubt,
If it's true, I'd prefer you inside out.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
My love you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in, to smell this way.
My feelings for you no words can tell.
Except for maybe' go to hell.'
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer." A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was more...