Inspector Jokes / Recent Jokes
With the number of airline disasters lately, the FAA now sends an inspector to the North Pole to check out Santa Claus's sleigh before allowing him to fly on Christmas eve.
The inspector arrives and checks the reindeer and they look good, he checks the harness and it looks okay, he checks the sleigh and it is also okay. Then he says, "Santa, lets take it up for a check ride and if everything looks good I'll certify you to fly."
Santa hitches the reindeer up and taxis onto the runway and just as he's starting his takeoff roll he looks over and notices the inspector has a pump shotgun on his lap. "Hey! Whats the shotgun for!?" Santa yells.
The inspector says, "Well, Santa, I'm really not supposed to tell you this, but there is going to be an engine failure on takeoff."
This one is about Santa Singhji... our English lecturer
Santa Singh ji is the English teacher in a school. He is very well renowned, since all his students do very well in exams.
The school is having an inspection and the inspector decided to visit the English class. This is what transpires:
Santa Singh: " Bolo bachon GADHA "
Students (in chorous): "GADHA "
Santa Singh: " Bolo bachon GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA "
Students (in chorous): "GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA "
Santa Singh: " Bolo bachon GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN "
Students (in chorous): "GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN"
Santa Singh: " Bolo bachon GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH "
Students (in chorous): "GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH"
By this time the inspector is furious. He more...
Billy Bob wanted a job as a signalman on the railways. He was told to meet the inspector at the signal box.
The inspector asked, "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading for each other on the same track?"
Billy Bob replied, "I would switch the points for one of the trains."
"What if the lever broke?" asked the inspector.
"Then I'd dash down out of the signal box," said Billy Bob, "and I'd use the manual lever over there."
"What if that had been struck by lightning?"
"Then," Billy Bob continued, "I'd run back into the signal box and phone the next signal box."
"What if the phone was busy?"
"Well in that case," persevered Billy Bob, "I'd rush down out of the box and use the public emergency phone at the level crossing up there."
"What if that was vandalized?"
"Oh, well then I'd run into town and go get more...
A man, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds. "Excuse me," he said, "have you lost something?"
"No," replied one of the doctors. "We''re doing a heart transplant for an income-tax inspector and want to find a suitable stone."
"Seikh Community whose names carry the Surname' Singh' are referred to as "Sardarjis". There are lots of jokes about' Sardarjis' and here is one.
3 Dead Bodies
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to show them what has happened.
First Body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile inspector", says the Coroner.
Second Body: "Stotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds from a lottery, spent it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.
Third Body: Sardarji, 30 struck by lightning.
"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one".
"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.
"Thought he was having his picture taken"
Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad, and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.
The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking, "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?" Tom says, "I would switch one train to another track."
"What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector. "I'd run down to the tracks and use the manual lever," answers Tom.
"What if that had been struck by lightning?" challenges the inspector. "Then," Tom continues, "I'd run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box."
"What if the phone was busy?" "In that case," Tom argues, "I'd run to the street level and use the public phone near the station".
"What if that had been vandalized?" "Oh, well," says Tom, "in that case I'd run more...
Two Poles, Markowski and Krachevski go to France on a pleasure trip. They meet this Frenchman called Jean Paul and become good pals. Jean Paul finds these two Poles some-what amusing and so he goes all out to make them happy. He treats them at pubs, bars, discotheques. This goes on for a while until one fine day Jean Paul does not turn up. The Poles assume that some important work would have held him up and do not take a serious note of it. But, perhaps something was serious as Jean Paul does not turn up for next five days. At this the Poles get alarmed and go to the police station to lodge a report. The inspector asks them to give details of the person who's missing. The following conversation follows: Markowski: Well, his name is Jean Paul. Inspector: It's a very common name in France. Something more please. Krachevski: Well, he is very tall. Inspector: Most of the people in France are tall. Big deal. Markowski: Well, he's got blue eyes. Inspector: Oh! no. Something more more...