Inspector Jokes / Recent Jokes

Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad, and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking, "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?" Tom says, "I would switch one train to another track." "What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector. "I'd run down to the tracks and use the manual lever," answers Tom." What if that had been struck by lightning?" challenges the inspector. "Then," Tom continues, "I'd run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box." "What if the phone was busy?" "In that case," Tom argues, "I'd run to the street level and use the public phone near the station"." What if that had been vandalized?" "Oh, well," says Tom, "in that case I'd run into town and get my Uncle Leo." This puzzles the more...

A young sub inspector, incharge of a upcountry police station was having a drink with some of his young planter friends at Agras Planter's club, about two decades ago. A hotty young planter told the inspector that they are like kings. Inturn, the inspector promply replied "In that case, I am king of kings, cuz when there are problems you come to me for help. And I protect you all." The planter was mumbed, as he had no reply.

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to show them what has happened. A Detective Inspector is sent and is taken to the first body.' Clinton, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector,' says the Coroner. The DI is taken to the second dead man.' Suharto, 70, made a pile from government funds, and spent it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.'' Nothing unusual here', thinks the DI, and asks to be shown the last body.' Ah,' says the coroner.' This is the most unusual one. Dr. Mahathir, 75, struck by lightning.'' Why is he smiling then?' inquires the Inspector. To which the coroner replies,' He thought he was having his picture taken.'

The Tax Man
At the end of the tax year the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit
the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned
to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with
"Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them
back to the
candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of
candles."
"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual
question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way "What
about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?" "Ah, yes,"
> replied the Rabbi, realising that the inspector was trying to trap him with
an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send them back to the
manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of matzo
balls."
"I see," replied the auditor, thinking more...

Two Poles, Markowski and Krachevski go to France on a pleasure trip. They meet this Frenchman called Jean Paul and become good pals. Jean Paul finds these two Poles some-what amusing and so he goes all out to make them happy. He treats them at pubs, bars, discotheques.
This goes on for a while until one fine day Jean Paul does not turn up. The Poles assume that some important work would have held him up and do not take a serious note of it. But, perhaps something was serious as Jean Paul does not turn up for next five days.
At this the Poles get alarmed and go to the police station to lodge a report. The inspector asks them to give details of the person who's missing. The following conversation follows:
Markowski: Well, his name is Jean Paul.
Inspector: It's a very common name in France. Something more please.
Krachevski: Well, he is very tall.
Inspector: Most of the people in France are tall. Big deal.
Markowski: Well, he's got blue eyes.
Inspector: more...

Two Poles, Markowski and Krachevski go to France on a pleasure trip. They meet this Frenchman called Jean Paul and become good pals. Jean Paul finds these two Poles some-what amusing and so he goes all out to make them happy. He treats them at pubs, bars, discotheques.This goes on for a while until one fine day Jean Paul does not turn up. The Poles assume that some important work would have held him up and do not take a serious note of it. But, perhaps something was serious as Jean Paul does not turn up for next five days.At this the Poles get alarmed and go to the police station to lodge a report. The inspector asks them to give details of the person who's missing. The following conversation follows:Markowski: Well, his name is Jean Paul.Inspector: It's a very common name in France. Something more please.Krachevski: Well, he is very tall.Inspector: Most of the people in France are tall. Big deal.Markowski: Well, he's got blue eyes.Inspector: Oh! no. Something more more...

A school inspector saw two little girls in the front row of a class and they were absolutely identical' you must be twins', she said.' no, miss,'they answered together.' Bot you are sisters, aren't you? he asked' yes, miss,'they replied.' and how old are you?'she asked.' we are nine,'they said at the same time.' then you must be twins!'said the inspector.' no, miss, we are triplets. but our sister has got flu.'