Instant Jokes / Recent Jokes
When they say "instant credit," don't they actually mean "instant debt"?
Starbucks was handing out packets of their new instant coffee, VIA, in Chicago today. Cups of hot water were sold for $4 each.
16 Ways of Knowing You're in the Desert
You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
You can say 110 degrees without fainting.
You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
You can make instant sun tea.
You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Hot water now comes out of both taps.
It's July, it's noon, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get more...
Q: What do you call a blonde with a brand new PC?
A: A dumb terminal.
Q: Why are blonde jokes so easy to understand?
A: So brunettes can understand them.
Q: How did the blond burn her ear?
A: The phone rang while she was ironing.
Q: There are 17 blonds standing outside a disco but why couldn't they get in?
A: The sign said "must be 18 to enter".
Q: Why are there no brunette jokes?
A: Because blondes would have to think them up.
Q: How does a blonde make instant pudding?
A: She places the box in the microwave and looks for the "instant pudding setting" button.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde that went to library and checked out a book called "How to Hug"?
A: When she got back to the dorm and found out it was volume seven of the encyclopedia.
Q: What do you call 24 blondes in a cardboard box?
A: A case of empties.
Q: Why do some people take an instant aversion to banjo players? A: It saves time in the long run.
You know you`re in Arizona when. ..
*You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
*You can say 110 degrees without fainting.
*You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
*You can make instant sun tea.
*You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
*The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
*You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
*You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
*You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
*Hot water now comes out of both taps.
*It`s noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
*You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
*You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7: 30 a. m. before work.
*No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
*Your biggest bicycle wreck more...
16 Ways of Knowing You're in the Desert You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water. You can say 110 degrees without fainting. You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off. You can make instant sun tea. You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron. The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly. You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car. You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window. You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. Hot water now comes out of both taps. It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets. You actually burn your hand opening the car door. You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7: 30 a. m. before work. No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning. Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to more...