Insult Jokes / Recent Jokes
May you be named Ben Ladden and be paged over the PA system at the Army-Navy game.
May you be forced to eat worms, run naked in front of your friends, be humiliated by a stern Englishwoman and not become famous on a reality TV show.
May you spend eternity in an elevator with the Wazzup guys.
May you be Saddam's food taster.
May it be that wherever you are, whatever you do, you can't get the song "Seasons in the Sun" out of your head. Not the Jacques Brel original, the one by that idiot Terry Jacks. You know the one.
Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
I don’t think you are a fool. But then what’s MY opinion against thousands of others? I don’t want you to turn the other cheek. It’s just as ugly. I feel sorry for you because you are so homely but I feel even sorrier for other people because they have to look at you. I hear the only place you’re ever invited is outside. I hear what you’re saying but I just don’t care. I hear you are an officer. Your rank is - just plain rank! I hear you are being accepted into an exclusive club cause they need someone to snub. I hear you are connected to the Police Department - by a pair of handcuffs.
Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?
I hear you are very kind to animals so please give that face back to the gorilla. I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper? I hear you were born on a farm. Any more in the litter? I hear you were born on April 2; a day too late! I heard that your brother was an only child. I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you! I heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found nothing there. I know you are nobody’s fool but maybe someone will adopt you. I know you’re a self-made man. It’s nice of you to take the blame! I know you’re not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be!