Insult Jokes / Recent Jokes
Couldn’t find his way through a maze even if the rats helped him.
Couldn’t hit sand if he fell off a camel.
Couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn if he were standing inside.
Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
Couldn’t think/pee his way out of a paper bag.
Couldn’t write dialog for a porno flick.
CPU is always in powersave mode.
CPU not connected to the bus.
Cranial cavity filled with neutronic matter. (Really dense.)
Cranio-rectally inverted.
Cunning as a dodo bird.
Cursor’s flashing but there’s no response.
Dealing with him is less fun than going to the dentist.
Dealing with him is one angst worse than a blind date.
Deep as her dimples / reflection in a mirror.
Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege!
Hey, what are you going to do for a face when the baboon wants its ass back?
Charming as a carbuncle.
Cheats when filling out opinion polls.
Cheezwiz for brains.
Chimney’s clogged.
Clock doesn’t have all its numbers.
Collects cards for Craig.
Communications with him is limited to ping.
Confused as a baby in a topless bar.
Consumes hard drugs as vitamins.
Contributes to collections like this one without searching first to see if their little gem is already listed.
Contributes to the population problem.
Could be considered a plant if he developed photrophic motility.
Could only be loved/missed if the minister read someone else’s eulogy.
Couldn’t balance a checkbook if Einstein helped.
Couldn’t count to 21 if he were barefoot and without pants.
This lady goes to the doctor for a check up.
When she gets home her husband asks, “So how did the appointment go? ”
She replies, “He said, I have the body of a twenty year old.
Her husband says, “Oh yeah. and what did he have to say about your forty year old ass? ”
She says, “Your name didn’t come up. ”
Posts empty articles to Usenet, and enjoys rereading them later.
Prefers three left turns to one right turn.
Pressure’s up, but there’s a slow leak somewhere.
Produces a zero-length core dump.
Proof God has a sense of humor.
Proof of Einstein’s theory that there is no limit to human stupidity.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Put a lens in each ear and you’ve got a telescope.
Puts a finger in his ear so the draft through his head isn’t annoying.
Putting his brain on the edge of a razor blade would be like putting a pea on a six lane highway.
Qualifies for the mental express line - five thoughts or less. - MacNelly
Quotes entire letters/articles as responses and hides her one line of wisdom in the middle.
Racing fifty yards with a pregnant woman, he’d come in third.
Reading from an empty/blank/unformatted disk.
Reads her newspaper back-to-front.