Insults Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: What's the difference between a contractor and a puppy?
A:The puppy will stop whining after about six weeks.
Patient: "Doctor, every time I look in the mirror, I get sick!"
Doctor: "At least your eyesight is good."
How many men does it take to find anything?
Zero.
They have to ask a woman 1st and then after she tells them exactly where it is for the umpteenth time & they still can't find it...
The now exasperated woman goes & gets it for them in the exact place she has told them it was.
Duh!!!
Look at those ears! You have so much wax, that if I stuck a wick in there you would sing "Happy Birthday!"
Roses are red,
Looming huge to the ant,
I wish you would drown in a waste treatment plant!
An elderly couple were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, "Ma'am did you know you were speeding?"
The woman turns to her husband and asked, "What did he say?" The old man yelled, "He says you were speeding!"
The patrolman said, "May I see your license?" The woman turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?" The old man yelled, "He wants to see your license!" The woman gave him her license.
The patrolman said, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once and had the worst sex I have ever had." The woman turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?"
The old man yelled, "He thinks he knows you!"