Insurance Jokes / Recent Jokes

“Don't let me pressure you, ” the life insurance salesman said. “Sleep on it tonight. If you wake up in the morning, you can give me a call. ”

In a party, Shaw asked a dazzling lady:' Madam, I'm quite enchanted by your beauty. Would you be willing to spend one night with me if I offered one million dollars?' After some initial hesitation the lady admitted that she couldn't resist the offer.

Then Shaw asked,' How about one hundred dollars'? The lady got very upset.' What do you think about me?', she yelled.' Do I look like as someone with so questionable morals?'' Lady,' Mr. Shaw answered,' I think, we have agreed upon that, and the only thing to clarify now is the price.'

A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there.
The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?"
The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds."
The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how do you start a flood?"

An insurance salesman was getting nowhere in his efforts to sell a policy to a
farmer.“Look at it this way,” he said finally. “How would your wife carry on if you should die?”“Well. . . ” drawled the weather-beaten man, “I don't reckon that'd be any
concern of mine -- long as she behaves herself while I'm alive.”

A Charlotte, NC, man having purchased a case of very rare, very expensive cigars insured them against fire among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of cigars and without having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company.

In his claim, the man stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires". The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The man sued.... and won.

In delivering the ruling the judge agreeing that the claim was frivolous, stated nevertheless that the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure against fire, without defining what it considered to be "unacceptable fire", and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process the more...

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advisednew recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly100% of the recruits he advised. Rather than asking him about this, the Captain stood at the back of the room and listened to Jones' sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said, "If you are killed in a battle and have a GI Insurance, thegovernment has to pay $200, 000 to your beneficiaries. But, if you don'thave a GI insurance and get killed in the battle, the government onlyhas to pay a maximum of $6000." "Now," he concluded, "which group do YOU think they are going to sendinto battle first?"

An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage insurance.
He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I
wanted to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run and get me a pad.
He came back and handed me a Kotex right in front of our guest.