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Etymologist vs entomologist riddle

Q: What is the difference between an etymologist and an entomologist?
A: An etymologist would know the difference

Shakespearean Insult Kit

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Shakespearean Pickup Lines

The Top 15 Pick-Up Lines Used by William Shakespeare

15>' How about a little Puck?'

14>' Of course,' Romeo and Gertrude' is just a working title. I might be persuaded to change it for you, M'Lady.'

13>' Et tu, Cutie?'

12>' Shall I compare thee to a brick outhouse?'

11>' If I whispered in thine ear that thou hadst a body of beauty unknown but to the heavens, wouldst thou hold it against me?'

10>' Wouldst thou care to join me in forming the beast with two backs?'

9>' My heart, it pines, as my trousers tent.'

8>' Without thine companionship, dear lady, I fearest I'd spend the

evening with pen in hand, if thou knows what I mean.'

7>' Hey, Baby, can Ophelia up?'

6>' Is this a dagger I see before me? Nay! I'm merely happy to cast eyes upon thy beauty!'

5>' Greetings to you, fair sailor.'

4>' But soft, what light through yonder trousers more...

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Null Worship

A man was passing by a small courtyard when he starting hearing voices and murmuring. He went in and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle and a banner that said' NIL.' White-robed people were kneeling before the altar chanting hymns to The Great Nullity and The Blessed Emptiness.

The man turned to a white-robed observer beside him and asked, "Is Nothing Sacred?"

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Top 10 Reasons To Study Economics

1. Economists are armed and dangerous: "Watch out for our invisible hands."

2. Economists can supply it on demand.

3. You can talk about money without every having to make any.

4. You get to say "trickle down" with a straight face.

5. Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they turned out.

6. When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there.

7. If you rearrange the letters in "ECONOMICS", you get "COMIC NOSE".

8. Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward, in economics we get taught that reward is its own virtue.

9. When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of diminishing marginal utility.

10. When you call 1-900-LUV-ECON and get Kandi Keynes, you will have something to talk about.

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Saving Train Fare

Three economists and three mathematicians were going for a trip by train. Before the journey, the mathematicians bought 3 tickets but economists only bought one. The mathematicians were glad their stupid colleagues were going to pay a fine. However, when the conductor was approaching their compartment, all three economists went to the nearest toilet. The conductor, noticing that somebody was in the toilet, knocked on the door. In reply he saw a hand with one ticket. He checked it and the economists saved 2/3 of the ticket price.

The next day, the mathematicians decided to use the same strategy- they bought only one ticket, but economists did not buy tickets at all! When the mathematicians saw the conductor, they hid in the toilet, and when they heard knocking they handed in the ticket. They did not get it back.

Why? The economists took it and went to the other toilet.

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Scientific Observation

A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house.

The Physicist says: "The measurement wasn't accurate."

The Biologist concludes: "They have reproduced."

The Mathematician says: "Now if another person enters the house, it'll be empty again."

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