Internet Jokes / Recent Jokes
Have you got the address of the butter website? Yes, but dont spread it around.
You Might Be An Internet Addict If...
You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue as to when it happened.
Your bookmark list takes 15 minutes to go from top to bottom.
Your nightmares are in HTML and GIFS.
You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
You start introducing yourself as "Jim at net dot com"
Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address on TV.
You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.
Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
All of your friends have an @ in their names.
When looking at a web page full of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.
Your dog has its own home more...
7. Thou shalt study thy libraries and strive not to re-invent them without cause, that thy code may be short and readable and thy days pleasant and productive.
"Hello. Tech Support; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?" "They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing."
"Nothing?" "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?"
[Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.] "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?"
[Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.] "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
[Ah-at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware problem. I wonder if s/he's kicked out more...