Internet Jokes / Recent Jokes
10. The lower corner of the screen has the words 'Etch-A-Sketch' on it.
9. It's celebrity spokesman is that 'Hey Vern!' guy.
8. You need some jumper cables and a friend's car to start it.
7. It's slogan is 'Pentium: Redefining Mathematics'.
6. The 'quick reference' manual is 120 pages long.
5. Every time you turn it on, all the dogs in the neighborhood begin howling.
4. The screen often displays the message, 'Ain't it break time yet?'
3. The manual contains only one sentence, 'Good Luck!'
2. The only chip inside is a Dorito.
1. You've decided that your computer is an excellent addition to your fabulous paperweight collection.
We regret to inform you, but by opening this email, you have just received the 'Idiot Computer Virus'.
Since our staff does not have any programming experience, this virus works on the honor system.
Please delete all files from your hard drive immediately, then manually forward this virus to everyone on your mailing list.
Thank You
You know you’re addicted to the internet when… Surfin’
* Your bookmark list takes 15 minutes to scroll top to bottom.
* Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.
* You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search.
* When looking at a pageful of someone else’s links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.
* Your dog has its own home page.
* You’ve already visited all the links at Yahoo and you’re halfway through Lycos.
* You leave the modem speaker on after connecting because you think it sounds like the ocean wind…the perfect soundtrack for “surfing the net”.
* You are so familiar with the WWW that you find the search engines useless.
10. The monitor is up on blocks.9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them. 8. The six front keys have rotted out. 7. The extra RAM slots have truck parts installed in them. 6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six. 5. The password is "Huntin". 4. The CPU has a gun rack mount. 3. There is a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive. 2. The keyboard is camouflaged. 1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".
If you do, here's a preview of the READ ME FIRST page
Congratulations on your purchase of Windows 98 (c), the latest version of the world's #1 computer operating system from Microsoft.
Before using your new software, please take the time to read these instructions carefully. Failure to do so may further limit the terms of the limited warranty. Windows 98 (c) represents a significant technological improvement over Microsoft's previous operating system, Windows 95 (c). You'll notice immediately that
"98" is a higher number than "95"
a better than 3 percent increase.
But that's not all. Windows 98 (c) contains many features not found in Windows 95 (c), or in any competing computer operating system, (if there are any of course).
Among the improvements:
faster storing and retrieving of files (not in all models),
enhanced "Caps Lock" and back-space functionality,
smoother handling,
less knocking and pinging,
an more...