Intimate Jokes

HER SIDE OF THE STORY:

He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit late but he didn't say anything much about it. I don't remember doing anything to make him upset, but I could tell there was something wrong. The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I was getting really worried, what did I do? What was bothering him? Was he mad at me? I tried to cheer him up, but started to wonder what was bothering him. Was it me or something else? I asked him if he was upset with me, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure. So anyway, in the cab on the way back to his house, I said that I love him, and he just put his arm around me! I didn't know what the hell that meant because, you know, he doesn't say it back or anything. We finally got back to his place and I was wondering if he more...

Top executive of Big Construction Company:
Give me a brief summary of what is currently being done on the site.
Middle level manager:
Here... this fellow in the yellow hard hat is one of our employees,
Paddy O'Hara, and talking to him is the foreman, Washington Smith.
Mr. Smith requests that Mr. O'Hara take this long pipe and carry it to
that corner of the site, motivating his request with the fact that
Mr. O'Hara has been in intimate relationship with his own mother,
whereas Mr. O'Hara refuses to carry the pipe, motivating his refusal
with the fact that he is currently in intimate relationships with the pipe,
with Mr. Smith, with the construction site, and with Big Construction
Company.

The following is a true story. . .

An anonymous girl, lets call her Jen, is a junior in college attending school in Colorado, like all college students, she is wrapped up in the partying and the wildness college life has to offer. Jen being the computer science major that she is does however have a lot of work to do on her computer so when she's not out having a good time, she's working her but off desining computer programs and installing software.

One day, soon after she had broken up with her boyfriend, she was home alone on a friday night for the first time in the three years they had been dating. she was sad alone and depressed, so she decided to make a new homepage. she was playing on the net when she decided to get onto a chat line, being the wild psycho she is she decided to get onto a sex line. So Jen got onto a sex chat line and started playing around on it.

Over the line, she met a guy who identified himself as Jeremy, she started playing more...

An anonymous girl lets call her Jen, is a junior in college attending school in Colorado, like all college students, she is wrapped up in the partying and the wildness college life has to offer. Jen being the computer science major that she is does however have a lot of work to do on her computer so when she's not out having a good time, she's working her butt off designing computer programs and installing software.
One day, soon after she had broken up with her boyfriend, she was home alone on a Friday night for the first time in the three years they had been dating. She was sad alone and depressed, so she decided to make a new homepage.
She was playing on the net when she decided to get onto a chat line, being the wild psycho she is she decided to get onto a sex line. So Jen got onto a sex chat line and started playing around on it.
Over the line, she met a guy who identified himself as Jeremy, she started playing with him, she gave a false name, saying her name was more...