Jeremy Jokes

Jenny's husband, Jeremy, was a male chauvinist. Even though they both worked full-time, he never helped around the house. Housework was woman's work!

But one evening Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of clothes in the washer and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove, and the table set.

She was astonished -- something's up. It turns out that Jeremy had read an article that said wives who worked full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex.

The night went well and the next day she told her office friends all about it. "We had a great dinner. Jeremy even cleaned up. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put everything away. I really enjoyed the evening."

"But what about afterward?" asked her friends.

"Oh, that was perfect! too. Jeremy was too tired!" she replied.

Good advice
Jeremy warned his son against marrying a `shiksa.`
The son replied, "But she`s converting to Judaism."
"It doesn`t matter," Jeremy said, "a shiksa will cause problems."
After the wedding, Jeremy called the son, who was in business with him, and asked him why he was not at work.
"It`s Shabbos," the son replied.
Jeremy was surprised and said, "But we always work on Saturday. It`s our busiest day."
"I won`t work anymore on Saturday," the son insisted, "because my wife wants us to go to shul on Shabbos."
"See," Jeremy said, "I told you marrying a shiksa would cause problems."

Little Jeremy was blind (aw!). One evening, his mummy put him on her knee and said, "Jeremy, I have a very special surprise for you. Tonight, if you pray very hard, when you wake up, you'll be able to see."
In great excitement, Jeremy stumbled upstairs, threw himself down next to his bed, and prayed his little heart out. "Please God, please, please, please give me sight. I'll be a good boy all the time, and I'll never use my eyes to look at naughty things or anything." (etc.) The next morning, his mother is awakened by howls from Jeremy's room.
She rushes into him. "What's wrong, son?"
"I still can't see!" he wails.
"Ha ha!" laughs his mum. "April fools!"

Teacher: Jeremy, please use "I" in a sentence.

Jeremy: I is -

Teacher: Don't say "I is." Say "I am."

Jeremy: Okay, I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

The following is a true story. . .

An anonymous girl, lets call her Jen, is a junior in college attending school in Colorado, like all college students, she is wrapped up in the partying and the wildness college life has to offer. Jen being the computer science major that she is does however have a lot of work to do on her computer so when she's not out having a good time, she's working her but off desining computer programs and installing software.

One day, soon after she had broken up with her boyfriend, she was home alone on a friday night for the first time in the three years they had been dating. she was sad alone and depressed, so she decided to make a new homepage. she was playing on the net when she decided to get onto a chat line, being the wild psycho she is she decided to get onto a sex line. So Jen got onto a sex chat line and started playing around on it.

Over the line, she met a guy who identified himself as Jeremy, she started playing more...