Invention Jokes / Recent Jokes

Arthur Davidson of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, an angle tells Davidson, "Well, you've
been such a good guy and your motorcycles have changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven."
Davidson thinks about it and says, "I wanna hang out with God, Himself".
The befeathered fellow at the Gates takes Arthur to the Throne Room and introduces him to God.
Arthur then asks God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of Woman?"
God says " Ah, yes."
"Well," says Davidson, "You have some major flaws in your invention.
Number 1 is there's too much front end protrusion, secondly, it chatters at high speeds, number 3 the rear end wobbles too much, and fourth the intake is placed too close to the exhaust."
"Hmmmmm...." replies God, "hold on." God goes to the Celestial Super computer, types in a few keystrokes, more...

Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, an angel tells Davidson, "Well, you've been such a good guy and your motorcycles have changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven."
Davidson thinks about it and says, "I wanna hang out with God, Himself."
The befeathered fellow at the Gates takes Arthur to the Throne Room and introduces him to God. Arthur then asks God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of Woman?"
God says, "Ah, yes."
"Well," says Davidson, "You have some major design flaws in your invention:
1. There's too much front end protrusion.
2. It chatters at high speeds.
3. The rear end wobbles too much, and
4. The intake is placed too close to the exhaust."
"Hmmm..." replies God, "hold on."
God goes to the Celestial Super computer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits more...

Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, an angel tells Davidson, "Well, you've been such a good guy and your motorcycles have changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven."Davidson thinks about it and says, "I wanna hang out with God, Himself."The befeathered fellow at the Gates takes Arthur to the Throne Room and introduces him to God. Arthur then asks God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of Woman?"God says, "Ah, yes.""Well," says Davidson, "You have some major design flaws in your invention:1. There's too much front end protrusion.2. It chatters at high speeds.3. The rear end wobbles too much, and4. The intake is placed too close to the exhaust.""Hmmm..." replies God, "hold on."God goes to the Celestial Super computer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the result. The computer prints out a slip of more...

Beer and the quotes it has helped create over the years...
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
-Frank Sinatra
The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.
-William Butler Yeats
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
-Ernest Hemingway
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
-Ernest Hemingway
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
-Dean Martin
Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it.
-Anonymous
No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or as good as drink.
-G.K. Chesterton
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
-Catherine Zandonella
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
-Ambrose more...

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. --Frank Zappa

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. --Ernest Hemmingway

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. --Winston Churchill

He was a wise man who invented beer. --Plato

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. --Catherine Zandonella

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the --decency to thank her. W.C. Fields

Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. --Lady Astor to Winston Churchill

Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. --His reply

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have --given us stomachs. David Daye

Work is the curse of the drinking class. more...

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

Arthur Davidson of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, an angel tells Davidson, "Well, you've been such a good guy and your motorcycles have changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven."

Davidson thinks about it and says, "I wanna hang out with God, Himself." The fellow at the Gates takes Arthur to the Throne Room and introduces him to God. Arthur then asks God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of Woman?" God says,"Ah, Yes. "Well," Says Davidson, "You have some major design flaws in your invention:

there's too much front end protusion
it chatters at high speeds
the rear end wobbles too much, and
the intake is placed too close to the exhaust."

"Hmmm...." replies God, "Hold on."

God goes to the celestial Supercomputer, types in a few key strokes, and waits for the results. more...