Inventions Jokes

[Original Author: Richard Lederer, St Paul's School]
One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a
student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably
genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through
college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.
The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by
Camelot. The climate in the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of
the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular
cube. The pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.
The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were
created from an more...

Have you ever heard of the kissing shield? No? then look at this list of crazy inventions people just like you made;
Kissing shield
Face bake
Horse diaper
Whopper wheels
Skateboard pirate
Light bulb changer
Beach boots
Remote controlled horse
Flying bike
Baby bottom art
Pump power
Dummy chicken farmer
Airplane moisturizer
Alarm fork
All terrain stroller
Aqua swing
Baby cage
Ball blinders
Banana head
BIRD CAT TRAP FEEDER
Boob tube
Boatless water skiing
Hijacker detector
And many more dumb inventions soon to come. Be watching!

Inventions by Blondes...
1. The water-proof towel
2. Glow in the dark sunglasses
3. Solar powered flashlights
4. Submarine screen doors
5. A book on how to read
6. Inflatable dart boards
7. A dictionary index
8. Mechanical Pencil sharpeners
9. Powdered water
10. Pedal-powered wheel chairs
11. Waterproof tea bags
12. Watermelon seed sorter
13. Zero proof alcohol
14. Reuseable ice cubes
15. See-through toilet tissue
16. Skinless bananas
17. Do-it-yourself road map
18. Turnip ice cream
19. Toe implants
20. An all white flag
21. Rolls Royce pickup truck
22. Helicopter Ejector Seat

Inventions by Blondes...1. The water-proof towel2. Glow in the dark sunglasses3. Solar powered flashlights 4. Submarine screen doors 5. A book on how to read 6. Inflatable dart boards 7. A dictionary index 8. Mechanical Pencil sharpeners 9. Powdered water 10. Pedal-powered wheel chairs 11. Waterproof tea bags 12. Watermelon seed sorter13. Zero proof alcohol 14. Reuseable ice cubes 15. See-through toilet tissue16. Skinless bananas 17. Do-it-yourself road map 18. Turnip ice cream 19. Toe implants 20. An all white flag21. Rolls Royce pickup truck 22. Helicopter Ejector Seat

Polish inventions: Solar powered flashlights. Fireproof matches. Wooden bar-b-ques. A book on how to read. A video tape on how to fix your VCR. A pedal powered wheelchair.