Invite Jokes

A blonde and her sister were at the blondes house. Her sister said, "I here you are having a party. Why didnt you invite me?"
"I did" said the blonde. She walks over to the computer and picks up her sisters invite and says aw man the email man didnt come.

Three guys get together every Saturday to go to the local Country Club to play golf. One Saturday morning, the pro approaches them and asks if they would mind if a new member could join in with them for the day. They agree to give it a try and the four go off to play golf.
The new guy plays left handed and has a great round. The group decides that they had such a good time that they invite the new guy to join in again the following week. The new guy says he'd love to, but he might be a couple of minutes late. They tell him that that's no problem and they all go home.
The next week, the new guy is there right on time and this time plays right handed. Again they all have a great time and invite him for the following week. He again tells them that he would love to but might be a couple of minutes late.
This goes on for several weeks with the new guy golfing both right and left handed. Finally, one of the original threesome can't stand it anymore and asks him, "How do you more...

One day Mulla was invited to a meeting they asked him unexpectedly to make an speech. He did go on the tribune and asked; does any of you people know what I am going to talk about? People look at each others and said, No.
He then said, "than I never make speech for such an ignorance people" and left the meeting. Once he left people put their mind together and decided to invite Mulla for another time to come and make speech for them. At the same time they agreed that if Mulla ask them same question they all would say "yes".
For second time he came to the meeting and asked "does any of you knows what I am going to talk about? They all responded "yes" than he said if you already know then there is no need for my speech and he left.
This time people got realy pist off and they again decided to invite him for speech but this time they agreed to divide themselves and half of them say "Yes" and the other half say "NO" if more...

Q: Why should you never ask one Baptist over to watch football with you, but instead always invite two?
A: Invite one, he'll drink all your beer.
Invite two and neither of them will drink a drop!

A Guide to Love and Sex for VirginsAs a young, modern virgin of the nineties, you no doubt have manyquestions concerning romance, love, even s.. e.. x. In this sensitive andfrank "question and answer" format, noted sex therapist Dr Ruth explainseverything you've ever wondered about. Q: Where can I find the man of my dreams? A: This is a difficult question, since every virgin probably has adifferent ideal of what their own personal Prince Charming should actand look like. However, when it comes to finding Mr Right, I can giveyou a good suggestion on where to start - and that's in a bar. That'sright, go to a bar... preferably the kind that smells of stale beer andlots of men crowded around watching a sports event on television. Pick aman that looks interesting - it's best to stay away from the shallow"pretty boys" in designer clothes with bulging muscles. Instead, Irecommend you pick somebody a little older and wiser, possiblyreassuring pot belly. Boldly approach more...