Iraqi Jokes / Recent Jokes
A large group of Iraqi soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune. "One United States Marine is better than ten Iraqis!"
The Iraqi commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune, whereupon a gun battle breaks and continues for a few minutes, then
silence.
The voice then calls out "One United States Marine is better than one hundred Iraqis!"
Furious, the Iraqi commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge firefight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
The American voice calls out again "One United States Marine is better than one thousand Iraqis!"
The enraged Iraqi Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannons, rockets and machine guns ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence. eventually one wounded Iraqi fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, more...
A squad of American soldiers was patrolling along the Iraqi border. To their surprise, they found the badly mangled dead body of an Iraqi soldier in a ditch along the road.
A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, who was still barely alive. They ran to him, cradled his blood-covered head and asked him what had happened.
"Well," he whispered, "I was walking down this road, armed to the teeth. I came across this heavily armed Iraqi border guard. I looked him right in the eye and shouted, "Saddam Hussein is an unprincipled, lying piece of trash!" He looked me right in the eye and shouted back, "Bill Clinton is an unprincipled, lying piece of trash too!"
"We were standing there shaking hands when the truck hit us."
There were three generals, one Chinese, an Iraqi, and a Turk. They were bragging about how good each of their armies were.
The Chinaman said, "My army would kill themselves for their country!"
Then he put a platoon in a little room and told them, "When this feather hits the floor I want all of you to shoot yourselves!"
He then went outside the room and five seconds later there were numerous gunshots and everyone in the room was dead.
Next came the Turkish General and he said the same thing to one of his platoons. About seven seconds later they heard gunshots and once again everyone was dead.
Finally came the Iraqi and he did the same to his platoon. Several seconds past and there were no gunshots. They decided to wait a little longer. Then several more seconds past and still no gunshots.
Finally they went in and the whole Iraqi platoon was on the floor blowing under the feather to keep it up.
IN IRAQ ONE NIGHT AMERICAN ARMY HAD REPORT THERE IS BUNCH OF FEDAYEAN HIDE TO AMBUSH THE ARMY, SARGENT SEND A GROUP TO CAPTURE THEM OR KILL THEM FOR GOOD. THEY WENT ON DARK AND WAIT TO SEE IF THERE IS ANY MOVEMENTS BUT NOTHING THEN THEY PLANED SOMETHING TO CACH THEM. THEY SOURANDED THE AREA AND ONE GUYS FROM WEST WITH LOUD SPEKER SAID HEY MOHAMAD, ABOUT TEN IRAQI NAMED MOHAMAD RAISE AND SAID YES THEN WITH SILENCE GUN AMERICAN SHOOT THEM, ABOUT 10 MINUTES LATER ANOTHER GUYS FROM SOUTH CALL HEY ABDOLHOUSSIN THEN ANOTHER 20 GET UP AND SAID YES THEN ANOTHER SILENCE SHOOT AND ANOTHER GROUP DEAD FINALLY IRAQI SOLDER BECOME SMART AND THEY TRY TO DO THE SAME TRICK TO AMERICAN AND ONE BY ONE CALL HEY JOHN NO REPLY THEN THEY CALL AGAIN HEY ALBERT NO ONE REPLY AGAIN HEY GEORGE NOTHING HAPPEN. SO AFTER WHILE AMERICAN GO AGAIN AND SAID HOW WAS LOOKING FOR JOHN, ALBERT AND GEORGE?
THEN ALL IRAQI STAND AND SAID WE ARE AND BOOM ALL SHOOT TO DEAD WITH SILENCED GUN !!!