Irish Jokes / Recent Jokes
Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend Finney. "Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!" "Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are you callin' from?"
Q: Why are there so few Irish lawyers?
A: The majority of them can't pass the bar!
Collie + Lhasa Apso Collapso: a dog that folds up for easy transport
Spitz + Chow Chow Spitz-Chow: a dog that throws up a lot
Pointer + Setter Poinsettera: traditional Christmas pet
Malamute + Pointer Moot Point: owned by.... oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway
Great Pyrenees + Dachshund Pyradachs: a puzzling breed
Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso Peekasso: an abstract dog
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel Irish Springer: a dog fresh and clean as a whistle
Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever Lab Coat Retriever: the choice of research scientists
Newfoundland + Basset Hound Newfound Asset Hound: a dog for financial advisors
Terrier + Bulldog Terribull: a dog that makes awful mistakes
Bloodhound + Labrador Blabador: a dog that barks incessantly
Collie + Malamute Commute: a dog that travels to work
Deerhound + Terrier Derriere: a dog that's true to the end
Bull Terrier + Shitzu Bull:. .. Oh, never mind
Q: Why are there so few Irish lawyers? A: The majority of them can't pass the bar!
(Setting the scene, Ballymun outside of Dublin has a reputation as a rough spot) Fifteen minutes into Aer Lingus Flight EI109 from Madrid to Dublin the Plane encounters a serious problem with the Instrument landing systems. In a Fit of Panic, Paddy the Pilot turns to his co-Pilot and says. "Jazus Mick...Well have to turn back...none of the equipment is working!." Mick says to Paddy; "No Problem...Sure I can tell where we are by sticking my hand out the Window! "OK!" says Paddy, "Where are we then?"Mick winds down the window and sticks his hand out and replies; "Well Paddy, I reckon were over the Bay of Biscay. The humidity seems to be gone out of the air. This is caused by the seawater. Just Head North""Brilliant!" replies Paddy, and precedes north bound. Fifteen Minutes later Paddy asks: " Where are we now Mick?"Mick winds down the window and sticks his hand out and replies; " Were over the English Channel now. The more...
There was an Irish man, an english man and a Jew. One day there was a magic slide and if you said what you wanted while u where going down. The english man went down and said gold! and got some gold. The irish man said silver and the irish man got some silver. the Jews said WEEEEEE as he was going sown and landed in some wee
there was an irish man english man and a scottish man and they were on a train so the english man said my son was called george coz he was born on st georges day then the irish man said oh my son was called patrick coz he was born on st patricks day then the scotish man said oh what a coincidence my son is called pankcake coz he was born pancake day!