Irish Jokes / Recent Jokes

O'Toole volunteered to take care of his numerous children so that Mom could have an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to read. One child kept creeping down the stairs, but O'Toole kept sending him back up. At 10 o'clock the doorbell rang. It was the next door neighbor, Mrs. O'Brien. She asked if her son was there and O'Toole said no. Just then a little head appeared over the banister and a voice shouted. "I'm here Mom, but he won't let me go home."

There was an english man, an irish man and a scottish man, all on a plane. The plane crash landed on an island and the three of them escaped but were soon captured by cannibals.
"We shall let you live," Said the head of the cannibals, "if you each shove a peice of fruit up your ass without making a sound." The english man puts a plum up his ass, and screams in pain and is killed. The irish man has an apple half way up his ass when he starts laughing histerically.
In heaven the english man asks the irish man "why did you laugh? you could have lived!" and the irish man replies,
"I just saw that scottish dude coming back with a pineapple!"

O'Toole worked in the lumber yard for twenty years and all that time he'd been stealing the wood and selling it. At last his conscience began to bother him and he went to confession to repent. "Father, it's 15 years since my last confession, and I've been stealing wood from the lumber yard all those years," he told the priest. "I understand my son," says the priest. "Can you make a Novena?" O'Toole said, "Father, if you have the plans, I've got the lumber."

The Pope and the Queen of England are on the same stage at an Anglican and Catholic commemoration of the Anglo-Irish accords - the crowd is huge - thousands. Her Majesty and His Holiness can`t help but have a little rivalry - both being heads of churches and all.
The Queen says to the Pope, "Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every English person in the crowd go wild?" He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough, the royal-gloved wave elicits rapture and cheering from every Englishman in the crowd.
Gradually, the cheering subsides. The Pope, not wanting to be outdone by someone wearing a worse frock and hat than he, considers what he could do. So the Pope says to the Queen,"Your Majesty, that was impressive. But did you know that with one little wave of MY hand I can make every Irish person in the crowd go crazy with joy? Their joy will not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and more...

How many Microsoft employees do you need to change a bulb
None
Why?
They would say. .... "You know guys this is the STANDARD Feature"
and remain in the dark
ps:- My appologies if You haven't heared Irish joke.
Send me an e-mail at ajithb@nortel. ca
I will set up cron job( On my UNIX W/S) to mail all
requests a copy
: -0 )
have fun,
cheers

In hearing an Irish case of assault and battery, counsel, in cross examining one of the witnesses, asked him what they had the first place they stopped at. "Four glasses of ale," was the reply. "Next?" "Two glasses of whiskey." "Next?" "One glass of brandy." "Next?" "A fight."

Did you hear about the Irish business man who got his name printed on the front and back of his business card?
- Just in case he lost it...