Island Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Jewish couple, are sitting together on an airplane flying to the Far East. Over the public address system, the Captain announces: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning, and this plane will be going down momentarily. Luckily, I see an island below us that should be able to accommodate our landing. This island appears to be uncharted; I am unable to find it on our maps. So the odds are that we will never be rescued and will have to live on the island for a very long time, if not for the rest of our lives. A few minutes later the plane lands safely on the island, whereupon Morris turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did we pay our pledge to the Yeshiva yet?" No Morris!" she responded. Morris smiles, then asks, "Esther, did we pay our UJA pledge?" "Oy no, I forgot to send the check!!" Now Morris laughs. "One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send our Temple Building Fund check more...
Three men were stranded on an uninhabited island. The only way back home was to swim 100 miles to the next island, which was inhabited.
Herolal was so determined to get home that he tried to swim. He made it 50 miles, got tired, and drowned.
Then Pyarelal tried. He made it 75 miles, but got tired and drowned, too.
Bhola thought he could make it all the way, so he started swimming. He swam 50 miles, but started getting tired, so he swam all the way back to the island.
Credit Card Classic Sarcasm!!
Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 20th anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an
uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach.
However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, "Mona, did we pay our Rs 5lakh deposit cheque yet to ICICI Bank?"
"No, sweetheart," she responds.
Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Mona, did we pay our ICICI Bank Master card yet?"
"Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send more...
There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead stranded on an island. Then they found a magic lamp, and each of them recieved a wish. The brunette wished that she could go home to her family, and the redhead wished the same thing. Finally it was the blondes turn. She wished that her friends could be with her on the island.
A man's boat capsizes in the middle of the ocean. He washes up on a deserted island with nothing but the clothes on his back. He builds a small shelter and finds food and water, but he misses civilization more with each passing day.
While walking on the beach one day, he sees a beautiful woman emerge from the ocean wearing a scuba tank and a wetsuit. She says, "You look like you could use a smoke." She unzips a pocket on one arm of her wetsuit, pulls a Cuban cigar from inside, and hands it to the man. The man smokes slowly, and tells her that it is the finest cigar that he has ever smoked.
"How about a drink?" the woman asks. She unzips another pocket, reaches in, and pulls out a small flask. "It's a 17-year-old, single malt scotch, aged in oak," the woman tells him. The man is almost beside himself with joy as he sips the drink.
The woman then begins unzipping the front of her wetsuit. "Want to play around?" she more...
A chief of a small island nation was obsessed with the English royalty, and his hobby was collecting thrones. He had wooden ones by the dozen stacked in the upper section of his giant grass covered palace that had many rooms for him and his cabinet. One day, his people presented him with a large stone throne and he had his servants carry it to the upper floor of his hut and he put it in the center of all the wooden thrones. The king was very happy. That evening he rushed home from the hard day of being sovereign, dashed upstairs and flopped into the new throne. When this happened the floor gave away and all the thrones came tumbling down bringing the building with them.
Moral: PEOPLE IN GRASS HOUSES SHOULDN`T STOW THRONES.
Four men got stranded on an caribbean island there was an English man, American, Irish man and a Japanese man. They all sat round the camp fire and discussed there roles the English man said ” I will be in charge of making everything” they all agreed the American said ” I will be in charge of our defense and weapons” they all agreed, the Irish man said ” I will be in charge of all the cooking” they all agreed. So the men went off leaving the Japanese man sitting there he said to the English man “What can i do” the English man replied “you can be in charge of the supplies” he was very happy with this.
Later that afternoon the Japanese man stood up and run off into the jungle the others thought he had seen something and had gone to investigate but he was gone for hours they left him to it and sat around the camp fire talking and waiting for the Japanese man to come back hours went by and still he had not come back so they all decided to go to sleep and when they more...