Island Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It's not a ship." The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It's not a boat." The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "It's not a raft." Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and says, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years!", he says.
She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes.
He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag, and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!"
Then she asked, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whiskey?"
He replies, "Ten years!"
She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and gives it to him.
He takes a more...
Two lawyers had been stranded on a deserted island for several months. The only other thing on the island was the tall coconut tree, that provided them their food. Each day, one of the lawyers climbed to the top of the tree, to see if he could see a rescue boat coming. One day, the lawyer yelled down from the tree, "Wow! I can't believe my eyes! I don't believe this is true!" The lawyer on the ground was skeptical and said, "I think you're hallucinating and you should come down right now." So, the lawyer reluctantly climbed down the tree and told his friend that he had just seen a naked blonde woman floating face up headed toward their island. The other lawyer started to laugh, thinking his friend had surely lost his mind. But, within a few minutes, up to the beach floated a naked blonde woman, face up, totally unconscious. The two lawyers went over to her and one said to the other, "You know, we've been on this island for months now without a woman. It's been more...
Santa and Banta fly to the south sea islands to study the natives. They go to two adjacent islands and set to work. A few months later Santa takes a boat over to the other island to see how Banta is doing. When he gets there, he finds Banta standing among a group of natives.
"Greetings! How is it going?" says Santa.
"Wonderful!" says Banta, "I have discovered an important fact about the local language! Watch!"
He points at a palm tree and says, "What is that?"
The natives, in unison, say, "Umbalo-gong!"
He then points at a rock and says, "And that?"
The natives again intone, "Umbalo-gong!"
"You see!", says the beaming Banta, "They use the SAME word for `rock` and for `palm tree`!"
"That is truly amazing!" says the astonished Santa, "On the other island, the same word means `index finger`!"
There was a blonde, burnette, and a redhead were stranded on an island. they figured out that the island was 100 meters from the shore. The burnette thought she could swim there, so she swam 15 meters and then got tired and sank.
The red head also tried to swim there, but only got to 17 meters before she got tired and sank.
The blonde also swam. She swam FIFTY meters before she got tired. After she got tired, she swam the 50 meters back to the island.
Theres a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde, all stranded on an island.
The first day they look north for land, and they don't see anything.
The second day, they look to the south for land, but don't see anything.
The third day, they look east for land, but again, don't see a thing.
Then, finally the fourth day, they see land to the west.
First the redhead tries to swim across to land, but drown's quarter of the way.
Then, the brunette tries, but only gets half way, then drown's.
Finally the blonde tries. She swims three quarters of the way, gets tired, and swims back to the island.
Three blondes were stuck on an island. then, a magic ferry appeared and gave them each a wish. The first one asked to be really smart, so the ferry turned her into a red head and she swam off the island. The second blonde asked to be even smarter, so the ferry turned her into a brunette and she built a boat and sailed off the island. The third blonde asked to be smartest of them all and the ferry turned her into a man and he walked across the bridge.