Island Jokes / Recent Jokes

Ed and Fred were flying along when the two idiots crash-landed on a desert island." What should we do?", said Ed." Hmmm, let's think.", replied Fred. Ed shook his head, "No, let's do something you can do too!"

A ship sank in high seas and the following people got
stranded on a beautiful deserted island in the middle
of nowhere:
A. 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
B. 2 French men and 1 French woman
C. 2 German men and 1 German woman
D. 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
E. 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
F. 2 Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman
G. 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
H. 2 American men and 1 American woman
I. 2 Iranian men and 1 Iranian woman

One month later, on various parts of the island,
the following was observed:
A. One Italian man killed the other Italian man for
the Italian woman.
B. The two French men and the French woman are
living happily together.
C. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule
of when they alternate with the German woman.
D. The two Greek men are sleeping together, and the
Greek woman is cooking & cleaning for them.
E. The two Polish men took a more...

A British General had sent some of his men off to fight for their country in the Falkland Island Crisis. Upon returning to England from the South American island, three soldiers that had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to the General's office. "Since we weren't actually at war," the General began, "I can't give out any medals. We did, however, want to let each of you know your efforts were appreciated. What we've decided to do is to let each of you choose two points on your body. You will be given two pounds sterling for each inch of distance between those parts. We'll start on the left, boys, so what'll it be?" Soldier 1: "The tip of me head to me toes, sahr!" General: "Very good son, that's 70 inches which comes to 140 pounds"Soldier 2: "The tip of the finger on one outstretched hand to the tip of the other, sir!"General: "Even better son, that's 72 inches which comes to 144 pounds" Soldier 3: "The more...

A young single guy on a cruise ship is having the time of his life. On the second day of the cruise, the ship slams into an iceberg and begins to sink. Passengers around him are screaming, flailing, and drowning, but our guy manages to grab on to a piece of driftwood and, using every last ounce of strength, swims a few miles through the shark-infested sea to a remote island.

Sprawled on the shore nearly passed out from exhaustion, he turns his head and sees a woman lying near him, who had also managed to survive this far, but she was unconscious and barely breathing. He makes his way to her, and with some mouth-to-mouth assistance he manages to get her breathing and conscious again.

She looks up at him, wide-eyed and grateful and says, "My God, you saved my life!" He suddenly realizes the woman is Cindy Crawford! Days and weeks go by. Cindy and our guy are living on the island together. They've set up a hut, there's fruit on the trees, and they're in more...

While driving through an Indian reservation, the salesman was approached by a very lovely Algonquin maid, who offered herself to him for fifty dollars. "That's a lot of money," he said. "Manhattan Island cost only twenty-four."
"True," she agreed, "but Manhattan Island just lies there."

Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to
celebrate their 40th anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces,
"Ladies
and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have
ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing.
Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to
land on the beach.
However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to
live
on the island for the rest of our lives!"
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the
island.
An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, "Mona, did we pay our
Rs
5lakh deposit cheque yet to ICICI Bank?"
"No, sweetheart," she responds.
Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Mona, did we
pay
our ICICI Bank Master card yet?"
"Oh no! I`m more...

On a deserted island there were three women, a blond a brunette and a redhead. They needed to get back to the mainland and the only way was by swimming. The redhead goes first. She makes it a quarter of the way then drowns. The brunnette goes second. She makes it one third of the way then drowns. The blonde comes last. She makes it one half of the way, gets tired and then turns back.