Jackson Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: What did the mother at the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A: "Excuse me, but you're in my son."
Q: Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby over a balcony?
A: Because he overheard his wife asking someone to drop the children off a few stories.
Michael Jackson and a grocery bag
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with... The other is used to carry groceries.
AUSTIN, TX (Dec. 4) - Attorneys for Texas Governor George W. Bush filed suit in federal court today, seeking to prevent Santa Claus from making his list and then checking it twice. The complaint seeks an immediate injunction against the beloved Christmas icon, asking the court to effectively ban his traditional practice of checking the list of good boys and girls one additional time before packing his sleigh.
The suit, filed in the Federal District Court of Austin, Texas, asks a federal judge to "hereby order Mr. Claus to cease and desist all repetitive and duplicative list-checking activity, and certify the original list as submitted, without amendment, alteration, deletion, or other unnecessary modification."
"There are no standards for deciding who is naughty, and who is nice. It's totally arbitrary and capricious. How many more times does he need to check? This checking, checking, and re-checking over and over again must stop now," said former more...
Current Proceedings' Not Long Enough,' News Outlets Argue
On the eve of closing arguments in the Michael Jackson child-molestation trial, a coalition of the major all-news networks has asked the judge in the case for a new trial, claiming that the current legal proceedings were "not long enough."
A spokesperson for the networks, Peter Fendell, held a press conference on Thursday to state the cable news outlets' position that the current trial had given "short shrift" to the key issues in the case.
"Unless there is another, longer trial, preferably one that lasts until May sweeps in 2007, justice will not be served," Mr. Fendell said.
He said that a longer trial would allow more time to focus on the lurid sexual details of the case, which he said had been "glossed over."
He added that, in addition to being "too quick and cursory," the current Jackson trial was marred by the more...
Q: Why did Michael Jackson fail to renew his contract with Pepsi?
A: Because he found out that the main ingredient was Bubbles!
Q: Why did Michael Jackson get food poisoning?
A: He ate a nine year old wiener!